Journey To Our Empress Ladybug

New Beginnings = New Blog !

2012-01-14T15:49:00.000-08:00

With the new year comes new beginnings. So as we start out the year with lots of excitement as we plan to bring home our sweet baby boy , I thought it was only fitting to change things up here too!

This will be my last post here !

So please join us as we begin our journey to bring home sweet baby Caden!

Our new blog is here : Once upon a time ...

Be sure to sign in as a follower and let me know what you think! I decided to go with a little different look:)

Thank you for following along on our journey to Pei ... hope to see you over there!

Maybe

2011-12-22T07:07:00.000-08:00

There is just something about this little guy of ours .

Maybe it is his story,

maybe it is that beautiful half smirk that he flashes when someone gets out a camera,

maybe it is those giant kissable lips and cheeks,

maybe it is his eyes that look as if they are saying I know you are coming,

or maybe it is how he can wear boogers and still look like the most dreamy little guy this mommy has ever seen !

And lets face it folks, not everyone can wear boogers well :)

... but somehow Caden does.

Or maybe it is that we have simply fallen head over heals in love with our little guy.

Whatever it is we are all wrapped up around those chubby little fingers and I mean tight!

Wisdom comes with age ,huh?
So this wise, ~~old~~ mama owl will admit defeat now 'cause this one is going to run the show :)
I know, I know I said that with the last two but trust me when I say there is a new sheriff in town

... and I can not wait!

As we close out this past year, we are looking forward to all the blessings that 2012 is going to bring .

We will be back with a new blog that is a little less pink ( sorry girls) ... one more fitting for our little Emperor!

Many Blessings to you all and Merry Christmas

Snakes and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails...

2011-11-28T15:01:00.001-08:00

That's what boys are made of.
With dirt on his nose,
and scrapes on his knees,
the throwing or rocks,
and the climbing of trees,
with pockets of frogs,
and jars full of bugs
makes a sweet little boy
full of kisses and hugs!

We are just your average family of six. We have bills ,cars, a house,pets and kids ,four to be exact. I really used to think that four children was a lot but now that I am the mother of 4 it is merely a number.What makes us unique is how we came to build our family. We chose a road that is often less travelled and I have to say that road has lead us to unmeasurable blessings, the blessing of adoption.
People often think that it is for the super rich, trust me it is not.
People often think that it is never been the right time for them but it is not about our timing but His.
People often say we thought about it but our lives are just to crazy, I can not help but think I really need to invite them over for dinner one night :)
Bret and I knew that we would adopt again ,that was a given. We had decided that Peyton would be the baby ,always. We also had decided that the next child would be an older girl. I pictured her with dark almond shaped eyes and raven hair. We had already had it all planned out.
So now what ?
Well we will wait for our plan to be put into action when the time is right ...for us!

November 6th we attended an amazing Orphan Sunday service at our church, HFBC. As we sat holding our two beautiful adopted daughters, we listened to many families stories of how there lives had been changed. But one speaker got up there and gave his testimony of their journey to adopt their son and daughter from Africa. As Jay described his home it mirrored ours. The "chaos" that centers around bath time and the dinner hour I could swear that he had been to my house before! But beyond that, he described a loving family whose lives had been forever changed.
We left there with our hearts full of hope for the many children that are waiting around the world to be loved ,cherished and treasured.
I received an email two days later that caught me completely off guard. An email about a little boy in China that needs a family.I had placed this baby boy on my prayer site just last week. I am looking at his photo saying he is one of the most beautiful baby boys I have ever seen but he is completely opposite of who I pictured . This light eyed ,light haired beautiful child will never be excepted in his society. He would be an outcast based on the image that he was created in. I find that hard to wrap my head around in this day and time but it is reality.
I had a quick interruption that reminded me of what the date was. Today was November 8th. This was the same day exactly two years ago that we listened to Pastor Greg speak of how true journey's of faith often have limited sight. On this same day two years ago, we first laid eyes on my daughter ,Pei.

I have to admit this got my attention.

As I read about how this giggling baby has learned to tightly grab on to the nannies shirts when they go to place him back into his crib at the orphanage. For him, this ensures that he could be held a little longer. I went to bed that night with the image of that etched in my head.The image of this 9 month old baby desperately longing for the touch of another human being.

God spoke straight to my heart with that simple image .

It was if that baby boy had taken those same tiny fingers and wrapped them around mine.As I looked at his picture I saw a beautiful baby with Ava's eye and hair color, Pei's beautiful almond shape eyes and Chinese Heritage and all of the blessings that each of my sons have brought to my life.

So over the course of the next couple of days we let go of what our image was and realized that God's image was much better. .

Caden Ryker Han Le Wen

God has blessed us with a child that is a combination of the best qualities of each and every one of my children. He has showed us yet again that everything good comes in his plans for us and on his time.
We can not wait to get our beautiful son home and hold him in our arms. Please join us in praying our beautiful baby boy home.

Thankful

2011-11-23T05:09:00.000-08:00

I have so much to be thankful for this holiday season. These are just a few reasons why my heart is filled with thankfulness ...

Lovable ladybugs!

Beautiful bumblebees!

Sweet sisters :)

The joys of many firsts :)

(Nick's first car)

My furry babies!

and my less furry loves,

a wonderful husband to share my joys with !

And all of the many blessings that are yet to come ;)

Wishing you all a blessed Thanksgiving !

Idea for Orphan Sunday

2011-11-01T06:03:00.000-07:00

Orphan Sunday

Orphan Sunday is November 6th . It is a time for Christians to be the voice for those who can not speak for themselves. I have grown up going to church all my life and I really did not ever remember one church ever observing this day.
There are approximately 147 million children without families around the world. That number is sobering. Both of my sweet girls were among those numbers but now know the love of a family.
There are so many verses in the bible that reference back to caring for the least of these but yet less than 5 % of Christian families actually step forward to adopt. I truly believe with all of my heart we are all not meant to "physically" adopt but that does not mean that we do not get involved in some way.

There are so many ways to help.

~Advocate for a child
~help a family fund raise for their adoption
~Become a big brother or sister in your community
~Foster a child
~Go to Reese's Rainbow and help a child with their adoption grant
~Pray for a specific child

Over the course of the past few weeks I have been working on a site for our church for Orphan Sunday.

http://www.waitingchildwarriors.com/

This site was created with the hope that people will be called to get involved. I will be continuing to add waiting children weekly . Please print off a child's photo and pray for them. Some of these children are in such an urgent crisis that I could not imagine turning my back on them.Many of these children are living in a distant land and some are in your own backyard. Regardless they are children in need.
My pastor asked for the congregation to step out and help raise money for funding adoptions for families through Lifesong. In a total of two Sundays they raised $180,000! I am in awe of the spirit of these people that I sit with in church every Sunday .
My hopes are that next year I will get to see one of these precious kids at my church with their new family. If that happen this labor of love will all be worth it.
Please visit here http://www.waitingchildwarriors.com/
Grab the button and spread the word!
Share this site with your church on Orphan Sunday !
Never under estimate what one simple act on your part can do to change someones life!

2011-10-07T08:07:00.000-07:00

Change of Seasons

In July, I felt the apprehension building. The count down had begun for school . August was just a few weeks away and big changes were coming.
For the boys, summer was over and it was back to the routine.

Jake entered the third grade. The pain of leaving the xbox and endless snacks was upon him :) But as I expected he rolled with the punches and did not miss a beat!

Nick started his senior year! I am still asking myself am I really this old ! Where did the time go?

He embraced going back ,ready to begin the best year of high school.

So you ask yourself where is the apprehension coming from ? Well, that leaves the littles.

Ava has been home for three years and I knew that peer mentoring was so important for her speech but her need to attach and feel secure trumped all. I felt like it was time. As her momma I knew she was ready. Question is did she know she was ready! And the biggest question was I ready!

Pei has been home for a little over 1 year and the guilt that I felt was over whelming. I truly felt like I was throwing her to the wolves!

After all Ava had three years of my undivided attention.

But I got the courage one day over the summer and signed them up . The deposit was payed and it was done. So I put it out of my mind. You know that little place in your mind where you stick stuff you really do not want to think about . Yep ,that is where all of this went.

A few weeks before school started I had to sit down and write a quick bio on each of the girls to help the teacher know them better.

I felt that tension building again . As I wrote about each of their lives I felt really flooded with urgency. How was I going to explain how each of these little girls lives began so differently from the other little students . When they watch me walk away it is not just the normal separation anxiety it is so much more.

"Will she come back?"

Ava has PTSD. There is just no grey area with her. In her mind everything is black or white. And when that fear is unleashed it takes a grip on her it is paralyzing. As her mom, I am her constant and consistent shelter. But once she walks through those doors I will not be there.

Pei has adjusted so well since being home. But is she ready for such a drastic change?

Before I knew it the date had arrived . School was beginning and there is no turning back.

So together holding hands my two brave little girls began school.

We talked a great deal about what it would be like.

Days filled with singing ,coloring and making new friends

And of course letting them know that when they lay down for nap time ,I am on my way to come and get them :)

I think the simple fact that they are in the same class helps. The sheer presence of your sister brings comfort and there is always a friendly hug available when needed :)

But something so miraculous happened ...

THEY . LOVED . IT !!!!!!

They did not cry .

But I balled like a baby when I got in the car :)

So two days a week I am rediscovering what a little "me time" is all about :)

On a side note, we did a little decorating for Halloween. We carefully selected our pumpkins and thoughtfully decorated them .

But something was working on our display.

So our mysterious pumpkin violator made himself known a few days later...

Well needless to say in 10 minutes flat the Halloween villain was in our house and had been named

Anyone want a bunny ?????????????

And yes now I have a tortoise and a hare!

2011-09-10T06:42:00.000-07:00

Friends

~ a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard ; a supporter

A day at the zoo surrounded by all your supporters was just what the doctor ordered!

When I look at these sweet girls I can hardly imagine that each of their lives all began the way they did. Each of their stories share the same beginning . And now their stories have followed the same path again. They each belong to a family in the same hometown.

We do not get together nearly enough but when we do you can just see the connection between these girls.

There is always great conversations :)

lots of hand holding and hugs

And lots of silliness !

But I believe these girls are more than friends

They are sisters in adoption .

Now that is a lifelong bond and connection that will never break!

Love you sweet girls!

2011-08-30T10:00:00.000-07:00

Hope

I opened my inbox on Tuesday morning to a wonderful surprise :)

To make a long story short :) there is a waiting child in China , "Jennie" , that has just stolen my heart. Several months ago, I stumbled across a web page of a mission trip to her orphanage. To my surprise there she was back in '08 sending a message to her friend, Mia ,who had been adopted the past year. Despite her orphan status , she was eager to send well wishes to her dear friend and hear all about her new life in the US.

http://www.heartsandhandsinternational.org/blog/?p=396

I watched the video and wondered how a child with nothing was not consumed with jealousy but instead showed such excitement for her friend. She had such a sparkle in her eyes . Maybe she was holding out hope that her turn would soon come.That look of hope drew me in and I was determined to advocate for this sweet girl.

I thought several times about contacting Ken Surritte, that had taken the video of Jennie many years ago on this mission trip, but never did. Some time had past and I really thought this sweet girl had got a family. But unfortunately there she was back on the latest shared list. So I decided that I had to email him and he promptly emailed back . He said you are never going to believe this but I have just purchased my ticket to China this morning ,I leave in two days. He said he now had a new agenda to add to his trip :

Meet this precious girl and get new info and photos :)

So on Monday of this week, Ken sat down with the director and Jennie for some tea and great conversation! What a beautiful gem of a girl that said she knows there is a special family that is meant to be hers. Sigh. So my plea here is please pass on this info and pics and help Jennie find her family!

Here are a few things he learned about her:

~She loves school and studies hard, English is her favorite subject

~She is very excited about the possibility of being adopted!

~She likes to eat bananas ,chicken,rice , veggies and lychee fruit

~She likes to sing and play badminton

~She loves to help and care for the other students :)

~She is described as extremely sweet and caring

~ Not to mention she is simply beautiful!

This sweet girl is on the shared list so she can be locked by any agency. Time is of the essence for this sweet girl so please pass on this info. Also take a look at her singing this sweet song about how special a mom is in the post below. SIGH!

If you have any additional questions please feel free to contact me @nmsettle@yahoo.com

Jennie singing Mama Hoa

2011-08-30T09:48:00.001-07:00

jennie movie 2 a video by Xia Ben Pei on Flickr.

Here are the words to this song :

Only mommy is the best in the world.
When a child has a mommy, she feels treasured.
When she gets into mommy's arms,
there is endless happiness to enjoy.
When a child does not have a mommy, she is most worried and anxious.
A child without a mommy is like a weed.
Away from mommy's arms,
where can she find happiness?

2011-08-22T08:08:00.000-07:00

Sisters

Sister :
a female offspring having both parents in common with another offspring ; a female sibling

The definition sister, is direct and to the point but lacking so much.

When we were waiting to travel to China to get Pei , I hoped and prayed that these two girls would be close. That they would share a bond and connection that would run deeper than blood.

Both spending the beginning of their lives somewhat lost and waiting for their forever families.

But as I have watched this sisterhood unfold over the past year, I have no doubt that these two
were not only waiting on their families but in many ways waiting on each other.

This relationship was truly nothing short of heaven sent.

Two girls from such diverse countries and ethnicity's that have forged a bond as if they are twins.

These sisters share so much more than just having the same parents in common. They spend their days filled with :

playing

giggling ... lots of giggling
sharing secrets
sharing kisses
And loving one another like only a real sister can.

2011-07-29T10:30:00.000-07:00

Always

Last year at this time we began what seemed like an endless journey.Four planes , one train and countless vehicles and taxi's that spanned a 48 hour period.

Our destination , China.

Little did we know the treasure that waited for us there .

Fast forward to today ,Pei's transition into our family was "seamless".

Not really but as with all "labor pains" they fade and are replaced by sweet smiles and kisses.

I am a stay at home mom so this has helped with our bonding and attachment. We are together everyday,all day ... except one. Ava has a private speech appointment one day of each week.

This day can go from good to bad in a matter of seconds. That beautiful smile is replaced by tears and complete fear brought on by my departure.

I have tried many different scenarios to try to make this easier for her.

The one thing that I do know is that consistency is key .

Consistency brings about predictability and that predictability brings about security.

So each time before I leave I gently take her chin, lift it up for her to look at me and say these words over and over :

"Mama always comes back. Always."

I have said these words even when I thought it was possible that this little girl of mine did not understand or completely believe me.

Our speech teacher was gone for the past couple of weeks. So Pei had a much needed reprieve from any stress filled departures.But this week it was back to business and the dreaded day of the week was upon us yet again.

That evening we gathered around the dinner table for our nightly dinner and family discussion. My husband always asks the kids what they did on that day.

When it came Pei's turn she spoke about Ava's speech appointment @ Ms. K's . She said how it makes her sad when we leave.

But she decided to wrap up her story with something pretty profound for a mere three year old.

"Daddy, Mama always comes back to me . Always."

And this mama always will sweet girl.

So long terrible two's and three's!

2011-07-21T05:04:00.000-07:00

Despite all my efforts they went ahead and did it anyway ... the girls are now three and four! So, we are moving on to the terrific three's and the fabulous fours!
Always trying to be the optimist here :)

Seriously, where does the time go ?

The girls birthdays are on the 19th and the 20th but we felt rather than combine the celebration they needed to have a special day all to themselves.

Pei's day started with a picnic in the park followed by lots of swimming!

The girls are truly "girlie" girls but love any messes they can create with water :)

So, when I saw these dolls that you give a bottle full of water to (and you know the outcome) I knew that this was a must have item :)

Pei has been home 1 year in just a couple of weeks! She has truly become the most precious, giggling, snuggle bug ever!
BTW, Pei's favorite meal is cake and ice cream!

She thinks these two items are in a food group of their very own.

Make a wish my sweet beautiful girl!

She was so excited about her new bike!

Pei's love language is most definitely receiving gifts :)

Next is Ava's special day ... what a drama queen !

Make a wish birthday girl!

The "must have" barbie skates that might land me in the chiropractors office!

Yes, all birthday girls received the same presents! Everything with these two need to be matching but I will never be counting m&m's or Cheetos's to make sure they are equal ...Never!!!!
(I know never say never!)

Home three years in September, Ava has just blossomed over this past year. She has truly gone from a toddler to a beautiful little girl!

Happy birthday to my beautiful babies !

I am so blessed to be called your momma!

Look out Sports Illustrated!

2011-07-11T05:38:00.000-07:00

Well the summer heat is definitely here and these two have a new uniform ... swimsuits!

I do believe that Pei (aka Ava's baby sister) is a bit taller than her older sis!

But despite any differences they might have they both share another obsession ... Cats !

So, when you are out shopping and Hello Kitty meets swimwear this momma can just do one thing....

just get out the checkbook!

Happy Monday to you all!

Happy Birthday Nick!

2011-06-22T04:52:00.000-07:00

And in a blink of an eye Nick is 17 !

Where does the time go!!!! [ insert a long sigh]

I know you usually run from my camera and my blog :) But today is your birthday so I am going to write you a thank you card for all that you bring to my life.

~Thank you for being the first born and letting Mom experiment on you!!!!! Being an only child, I had zero experience with babies but you were aways such a trooper!

~Thank you for teaching me to be selfless. When they handed you to me wrapped up in that blue baby blanket I knew my life was no longer my own :)

~Thank you for being honest and trustworthy. You are going to make an awesome husband and father one day in the far ,far ,FAR future ;)

~Thank you for making my job easy. You are such a great kid! When you have been faced with a fork in the road you always choose the right way :)

~Thank you for opening your heart to Ava and Pei. Your ability to love with all your heart makes me so proud. BTW, Pei is completely taken by her biggest brother. You can make that little girl smile like no one else :)

~Thank you for stepping forward and helping when you see someone in need ,especially me.

~Thank you for just being you! As I watch you grow into a man I see so many wonderful qualities emerging. You bless my life everyday and I love you more than you will ever know . And never forget no matter how much bigger you are than me ...

YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY BABY!!!!!

I LOVE YOU !!!!!!!!

Forget Me Not Friday!

2011-05-27T09:25:00.000-07:00

As summer vacation approaches ,we are all making some great plans to spend time with our children. I can not help but think about some of these children that will age out during our summer holidays. Forever losing their chance at knowing the love of a family!
Help spread the word about all of these beautiful kids!
Do not ever under estimate the power of one person!
Get involved!

Stunning Sophia 6/23/1997

CHD

Makayla 8/17/1997

CP; ages out Aug 2011!
Amazing little girl that has adapted with her SN and uses her feet!

Boy 7/1/1997

Postoperative VSD repair

Posing as if to say "Choose me" :(

Letting go

2011-05-25T05:09:00.000-07:00

Some say there are five not seven stages of grief. I am not really sure who is correct because when you are living it there is no clear cut pattern that grief follows . I gave up trying to count them in fact ,I decided to just follow her lead.

I have learned that when people ask how Pei is adjusting and I say "great" I am setting myself up for another journey into the trenches of grief.

Or maybe we thought that she had moved on only to be reminded that in fact she was still silently struggling .

Or just maybe I had just begun to accept some of this as her personality.

Do not get me wrong Pei has an infectious giggle and a smile that can just light up a room . But there also is a serious side that is never far from the surface.

But we have seen a change recently.

I mean a drastic change.

We have seen less of this girl.

In fact, we have not see this girl at all.

But instead I would like to introduce you to who has taken her place.

A little girl who seems lost no more,

A little girl who radiates confidence and happiness.

A little girl who can not contain or hide her smile .

Grief is a complicated and often misunderstood emotion. Pei is a master at stonewalling. Behind that wall was fear, anger and sadness. That is a large load for such small shoulders to bear.

I realized that I could not force this process ,it had to be at her own pace.

But it appears that the walls have come down ...

and unveiled is the most amazing little girl just wanting to be loved ,accepted and belong.

This is the beautiful face of letting go

... and man it is beautiful!

Welcome to our new hangout!

2011-05-18T14:57:00.000-07:00

To say that the girls LOVE the sandbox is an understatement! So, we decided to upgrade the little turtle sandbox that sat on the patio. After getting an umbrella ,a couple of chairs and 2,000 lbs of sand ... they have their own little paradise!

I think the girls are pretty pleased with the results!

But I do not think everyone likes the sandbox !

Look at that face!

Maybe I should have titled this post "Mischief Makers".

Forget Me Not Friday!

2011-05-13T13:23:00.000-07:00

Every Friday I am focusing on children that are dangerously close to aging out in China. Once they turn 14 their chance to be loved and cherished by a family is gone.

Girl 10/1997

birthmarks, nevus
contact WACAP

Ages out in July (DOB July 1997)

repaired CL/CP; blood disorder

contact WACAP

Athletic girl 9/23/1998

Healthy - positive for HepB

Healthy Girl! Her special need is her age :(

~8-1997~ contact GWCA

This is just a beautiful group of girls !!!!! Please pass the word on about these precious kids and help them not be forgotten!!!!

Forget Me Not Friday!

2011-05-07T05:26:00.000-07:00

I am back again with a few more precious children to add to last weeks list. If you have not seen the girls from last Friday that are still waiting scroll down to take a look.

All of these kids are dangerously close to "aging out" in China. When they reach the ripe old age of 14 their chances of ever knowing the love of a family are gone. Forever. At 14, they are deemed unadoptable and are considered "unlucky" in their society with their orphan status.

So please pass the word on about these sweet kids !

Beautiful girl ! 12/10/1998
cl lip palate, Hep B

I love this girl! Why is she still waiting!!!!!!

Boy albinism 9/14/1998
He wants a family! :(

His future is so grim if he does not find a family.

Beautiful Jennie! - Girl -Hep B -8/12/1998

CHY Fall 1997

ages out fall 1997

So precious !!!!!!

For info on any of these children contact Annie: 5puppies@comcast.net

"Forget Me Not" Friday!

2011-04-29T12:57:00.000-07:00

This is my first Friday to join in to advocate for some wonderful waiting children who are dangerously close to aging out . When each of these children turn 14 they will loose their chance of ever knowing the love of a family.
As the mother of a soon to be 17 year old ,I could not even imagine him out and on his own in this world.
The girls posted below all age out this summer ! This means they have just weeks to find families. Please feel free to copy any or all of the photos and help spread the word .Just maybe someone will see their daughter and bring one of these sweet girls home.

Girl, outgoing 8/7/1997

repaired cl lip,cleft palate

Precious girl 8/1/1997

seizure free epilepsy

Girl DOB Summer 1997, deaf and mute

for more info contact Annie 5puppies@comcast.net

Girl DOB: Summer 1997, deaf and mute

for more info Annie 5puppies@comcast.net

Easter!

2011-04-25T10:42:00.000-07:00

Here are some random Easter pics!

Ava was the winner of the golden egg!
Pei did not care about the golden egg ...she just wanted chocolate :)

All wired up on chocolate!

Wishing all a blessed Easter!

Does the Easter bunny bite?

2011-04-20T08:44:00.000-07:00

It is really funny how a three year old mind works but that is the infamous question for the week.

So Sunday Ava thought it was a great idea to head to the mall and have a photo taken with the cuddly lovable Easter Bunny. So she convinces Pei that this is a great plan and she is in like Flinn . Pei s just easy like that :) So we begin the process of getting them dressed .And can I just say it is a process .

~Fancy dress

~Hair combed and styled

~Just the right pair of shoes

~While you are combing the 2nd diva's hair ,diva 1 has messed hers up!

~multiple wardrobe malfunctions

~And yes lipgloss!

Now multiply that x's 2!

Mind you I am having a flashback to the photo shoot with Santa Clause. The look on her face says it all.

I swore I would never do that again! So, I get into the car cautiously optimistic :) Why shouldn't I we have just been at Chuck E. Cheese this past week and all parties LOVED the big mouse!

So, I shot a couple of shots before we got in the car ...just in case Someone changes their mind.

Well, I will spare you all the details but after circling EB about 5o times , lots of talking ,lots of crying, looking at his big teeth , this was the end result.

Pei was such a good sport! I think she will be my daredevil!
But you know his teeth are really big!!!!!

The boy from baby house #10

2011-04-16T05:17:00.000-07:00

This past week I walked in the door from church and began watching the most amazing story about a little boy from Russia named Vayna. There I sat with my purse still on my arm completely enthralled by the story of the boy from baby house #10. I know people who watched it that could not believe that this really happens in this day and time. But for those of us who have walked the road of adoption and seen where our children have been, we know that this is reality. I have seen both sides of adoption . I have two beautiful daughters ,one lucky to be loved and cared for by a wonderful foster family in China . The other not so lucky ,Ava lived her days "housed" with no one. There is so much that these sweet sisters have in common but yet they are vastly different in so many ways. This past week I sent a letter to Pei's foster family thanking them for all the love and care that they showered Pei with. As far as I am concerned Pei has three mommas .Her birth mom who gave her life , loved her for three days and then carefully placed her where she would be found. Second , her China mom who took Pei in her heart and loved her knowing that she would one day have to give her up . And then there is me,her forever mom. I see Pei's life as an unbroken thread. There were no gaps of loneliness or isolation on her path. In my mind, she was passed and carefully handed to the next . From one mother's arms to the next and loved on her journey to us. But Ava's story brings so much sadness to me.From the beginning her life was filled with a series of gaps. She has been home three years this September and those at the orphanage would not even recognize this baby girl now. When we meet her it was like she was waiting on her life to begin. So at 14 months her life began when we walked out the gates of that orphanage as a family. As I watched Vayna's story I was taken back to that place that you do not want to visit. This was a trip back to Ava's beginning and for this mom it is a raw place on my heart. I have to ask myself could this have been her story. Yes ,it could have been any of our kids story. And right now there are children who lives read like a scene from Vayna's life. This week I have found myself so thankful of all the doors that closed ,road blocks and all of the delays in the process . Broken roads might not make much sense at the time but they happen for a reason. I am reminded of this with each sweet giggle , each tiny, little hand reaching for mine and hearing a little voice say I love you. If you have not seen this dateline story of the boy from baby house #10 here is the link: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3032600#/42535819 Go to videos and click on the boy from baby house 10. What a wonderful ending this story has!

What's been going on???????

2011-04-14T09:04:00.000-07:00

Well ... A little Tex time ! He looks really comfy swaddled in Ava's favorite blanket :)

A little peep time! (Can you tell we all shop together too!)

More time with the peeps!!!!!

A little swimming!

A little climbing!

a little driving!

pony time!

And lots of sister time and lovin it !!!!!!!

Introducing ..

2011-03-23T04:39:00.001-07:00

Hello , my name is Alina B. At a mere six years old I have been told that I am quite the leader. I have beautiful blue eyes and light brown hair.
I have been described as charming ,thoughtful ,serious but I also can light up with joy :)

I am brave, stubborn:), and active. I prefer cars over dolls and love to talk and tell stories!

I was born in Russia in August 2004 and have been waiting ever since for a family of my very own. A family that will love ,cherish and treasure me as every child deserves.

I am HIV+ . Despite that with proper medical care I can one day be a wife,mother and even a grandmother.

My greatest need now is a family to love.

To be chosen.

Could you be my family?

For more information on Alina B. or one of the other precious waiting children with HIV you can go here :

http://reecesrainbow.org/alina-b-15

http://reecesrainbow.org/category/waitingchildren/hiv

Great information resources on HIV adoption :

http://www.projecthopeful.org/

http://positivelyorphaned.org/

My Family Found Me!!!!!!!

2011-03-07T14:52:00.000-08:00

Those are the sweetest four words to this Mommas ears !!!!!!
You guessed it little Anton has been found by his family!
http://reecesrainbow.org/category/rescued
Now, he will be treasured , loved ,cherished and adored as he should be!

One less sweet baby needing the love of a family :)

Anton Update :)

2011-02-23T11:50:00.000-08:00

Beautiful Anton's adoption grant is growing !!!!!!!
As of today his Reese's Rainbow grant has grown to $10,615!!!!!!!!!!!
Woohoo!!!!!!!!!!!!
So keep spreading the word !!!!

A little of this and a little of that!

2011-02-18T06:50:00.000-08:00

First, off I would like to thank everyone who donated $5.oo to little Anton on Reese's Rainbow! Anton's adoption grant went from the $200 range to almost $7500!!! WooHoo!!!!!!!! Still a way to go in terms of the cost of international adoption but I have a few more ideas for this sweet Russian angels fundraiser!

Next, I am going to start with a little update on both Ava and Pei!

Ava

Many of you know that when we arrived home with Ava she was globally delayed. She spent the first half of her life in a hospital waiting for a bed at the orphanage. Her life mirrored Antons in many ways. That is why his situation weighs very heavy on this mommas heart. To say that Ava progress has surpassed every expectation that we had for her in a understatement! Her only delay is articulation but she is moving right along in that area as well. Ava loves to dress up ,sing songs and dance ! This once shy ,scared ,tiny baby is now blossomed into a beautiful, confident,outgoing little girl! We are so proud of the little girl that she has become!

Pei

Pei has been home now for 6 months! Wow the time has really just blown by. It seems like just yesterday I was in China picking up a really confused little girl. She has also just blossomed! I would love to take all of the credit for that but I have to say what a difference her foster family made! They have truly made my job so much easier! She has been through so much change but is embracing her life her with us.I am so proud of her ability to let go of her fears and love us as her own!

Ava and Pei each have such different personalities. They each bring a good mix to the relationship! One thing is for sure these girls have become inseparable! They have a normal sibling relationship where they fight sometimes but if you could just hear the giggles ! You know the kind that just makes you stop and smile :)

They are sisters in every sense of the word.

And share one common denominator ... the ability to love like no other!

Can you help??????

2011-02-10T06:57:00.000-08:00

If you had a chance today to be part of something that is so extraordinary but yet it would not take much effort on your part would you? What if I told you this small effort could save a child's life ?
All that is needed is five dollars and five minutes .

Please read his story below:

This is what a woman who has been advocating for him wrote a few months ago:
"During this week my friend from a non-profit foundation caring for orphans in Russia (www.otkazniki.ru) has told me a story about a baby boy abounded by his surrogate and biological parents in Russia. His name is Anton A. He was born on the 16th of January, 2010 from a surrogate mother hired through agency by a wealthy couple. Twins were born. Anton’s healthy brother was picked up by a nanny (sent by a private jet), but Anton was not so lucky… He was rejected and left in one of the Moscow hospitals. The personnel of the hospital did not know how to treat him because no one could diagnose his disease. Besides his symptoms he was underweight; he has also suffered multiple pneumonias and was bandaged with general application gauzes. Pain management was minimal. His doctor has admitted later that she does not understand how he survived during first months of his life.
But Anton is a fighter: despite it all he was alive when our curator has found him. He even smiled at every adult who would show him any affection. When we found him, he had never been outside of his room and did not see a single toy. The foundation called a pediatrician, recommended by Debra International, who diagnosed him with EB and we collected some money to hire a nurse (the hospital’s staffing is one nurse per twenty kids).
He cannot, however, stay in hospitals forever. After some time he must go back to the orphanage to which he is assigned. He will not survive the transition because no one could possibly change his bandages and treat his wounds the way it should be treated on the regular basis in any Russian orphanage. The only way for him to live is to find a loving family.More about him: he is blond with green eyes and has a very calm and cheerful disposition. He was diagnosed with RDEB in Russia. He is a very curious little boy, very alert, but lucking attention… There was an article in the main Russian newspaper about Anton and we are planning a short video clip on the leading television channel in order to collect money for his future family. His web-page is almost complete and donations would be accepted. The financial side of the adoption and even a big portion of monthly medical fees will be covered by the foundation “Gift of Life” and by DEBRA. The adoption agencies representing Anton are doing their work pro-bono."UPDATE: Anton spent a few months in a very nice hospital where he received care from a personal nanny, had toys for stimulation, and had proper wound care supplies. However, the organization helping him just found out that he will soon be moved back to his orphanage, where he likely will not survive. He has a site called helpanton.org where you can read more about him and donate as well. Anton is such a sweet little boy, who deserves a loving family! There is also a facebook group called "Help Anton" where you can read lots of updates from the past couple months

Anton is living in the same region in Russia that my sweet daughter, Ava, is from . I have seen the conditions in the orphanages there . When he is transferred from the hospital to the orphanage, death is a real possibility for precious little Anton. Anton's best chance at survival is to be adopted .
Anton is currently listed as a waiting child on Reese's Rainbow. This is a wonderful organization that helps spotlight children with special medical needs and sets them up to receive adoption grants. Anton is set up to receive money towards his adoption. This grant will help a family step forward that maybe has the love to give this child but not the money to complete his adoption fees.

So it is simple .

1. Go here http://reecesrainbow.org/anton-15aac .At the bottom of his story is a button for donation's. Click and donated $5.00. (You will receive a receipt for your taxes)

2. Now, forward this post to all in your email contact list. Help spread the word about this precious little boy and be a part of something really big today!

Five dollars is not much but I figure if everyone that reads this sends $5.00 and then forwards this on , Anton could have an adoption grant to cover all of his fees in less than a week! And have a chance at life.

Do not ever underestimate the power of one person. Together we can save little Anton's life!!!

Have a wonderful day!

Look who is the latest Reese's Rainbow Angel !!!!

2011-02-08T09:22:00.000-08:00

http://reecesrainbow.org/category/waitingchildren/other-angel-boys

You guessed it ...Anton!

Now he is set up and ready for donations towards his adoption!
So dig into your pocket and go give a donation towards saving his life. Even $5.00 could make a big difference to this little angel finding his forever family!

What is $ 5.00 to us , skipping a Starbucks treat or maybe not driving through McDonald's! Now just imagine that one simple sacrifice could save a sweet babies life.

Do not ever underestimate the power of one person! So click on the link and be part of something really big today!

I already did!

The sweetest bundle of blue!

2011-02-07T04:56:00.000-08:00

Below is a story about a sweet little guy named Anton. Please pass the word on about this sweet little guy. He is from Moscow Region. This photo is taken straight from the database of orphan children in Russia. Despite the pain that he is in a has the sweetest smile . Here is what has been written about him:

"During this week my friend from a non-profit foundation caring for orphans in Russia (http://www.otkazniki.ru/) has told me a story about a baby boy abounded by his surrogate and biological parents in Russia. His name is Anton A. He was born on the 16th of January, 2010 from a surrogate mother hired through agency by a wealthy couple. Twins were born. Anton’s healthy brother was picked up by a nanny (sent by a private jet), but Anton was not so lucky… He was rejected and left in one of the Moscow hospitals. The personnel of the hospital did not know how to treat him because no one could diagnose his disease. Besides his symptoms he was underweight; he has also suffered multiple pneumonias and was bandaged with general application gauzes. Pain management was minimal. His doctor has admitted later that she does not understand how he survived during first months of his life.
But Anton is a fighter: despite it all he was alive when our curator has found him. He even smiled at every adult who would show him any affection. When we found him, he had never been outside of his room and did not see a single toy. The foundation called a pediatrician, recommended by Debra International, who diagnosed him with EB and we collected some money to hire a nurse (the hospital’s staffing is one nurse per twenty kids).
He cannot, however, stay in hospitals forever. After some time he must go back to the orphanage to which he is assigned. He will not survive the transition because no one could possibly change his bandages and treat his wounds the way it should be treated on the regular basis in any Russian orphanage. The only way for him to live is to find a loving family.More about him: he is blond with green eyes and has a very calm and cheerful disposition. He was diagnosed with RDEB in Russia. He is a very curious little boy, very alert, but lucking attention… There was an article in the main Russian newspaper about Anton and we are planning a short video clip on the leading television channel in order to collect money for his future family. His web-page is almost complete and donations would be accepted. The financial side of the adoption and even a big portion of monthly medical fees will be covered by the foundation “Gift of Life” and by DEBRA. The adoption agencies representing Anton are doing their work pro-bono."UPDATE: Anton spent a few months in a very nice hospital where he received care from a personal nanny, had toys for stimulation, and had proper wound care supplies. However, the organization helping him just found out that he will soon be moved back to his orphanage, where he likely will not survive. He has a site called helpanton.org where you can read more about him and donate as well. Anton is such a sweet little boy, who deserves a loving family! There is also a facebook group called "Help Anton" where you can read lots of updates from the past couple months

My daughter, Ava , is from the same region in Russia. My heart really aches for this little man.

Please copy and post this on your blog and help spread the word for this little man. Just maybe his forever family will find him!

I contacted Reese' Rainbow about adding them to their "other angels" for adoption page. So pray they say yes !

Anton's only chance is finding a family to love and care for him.

Here is the link to a blog of a mom that has a youtube video posted of Anton. Take a peek at this cutie!

http://patriceandmattwilliams.blogspot.com/2011/02/tripp-and-anton.html

My heart breaks for what breaks his ...does yours?

Journey to our Empress Ladybug at OneTrueMedia.com

2011-01-12T12:46:00.001-08:00

I just completed Pei's video montage for her life box. This box will contain treasures from her life in China and from our journey to becoming a family . This will be something special for her to share with her kids one day.
Be sure to mute the music for the blog at the bottom of the page !
Enjoy!

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

The Conspicuous Family

2011-01-04T06:36:00.000-08:00

As an adoptive parent you are subject to a mix of praise and criticism. We were no stranger to the world of adoption . Having already traveled to Russia and adopting Ava we felt more prepared this time around. We were more knowledgeable about attachment and were well versed on the grieving process. But all the while knowing we still had a lot to learn and would take cues from Pei about what course to follow.

But one thing that I was not prepared for ...being the conspicuous family. With Ava's adoption we became the "blended" family. No one ever questioned if she was adopted. Not one time. People were shocked if you shared our story of adoption. I never one time was greeted with one negative comment or a disapproving look.

So, what is different now?

Well, the obvious difference is we stand out. When we travel as a group to a store we draw attention. Maybe it is the vast age difference in my kiddos. My children span from 16 years to 2 years.

Could it be that?

Maybe it is the sheer numbers of ducklings that are following on my heels calling out "Mom".

Maybe it is that.

But there is one more thing that crosses my mind.

Could it be that one of our family members look vastly different than the rest?

We are the conspicuous family. There is no doubt that our family was created through adoption. Anyone who knows me knows that this has become my passion.I will gladly share with anyone what an incredible blessing adoption has brought to our lives. But the conversation with Ava was at my discretion. Now , you are wide open for a mix of disapproving stares and comments.

Topping the list of negative comments was "How could you love someone else's child?". That one caught me of guard completely. I think I am still in a state of shock over that one.

I would really hate to think we still live in a place were prejudice still exists. But reality is we do.

So, I can not help but wonder if that is the driving force behind some of this new found "fame". But just when you think the world is completely plague by the ignorance that fuels prejudice something profound happens.We attended a birthday party a few weeks ago. Pei and Ava love to dress alike. So, on this day they were matching head to toe! The girls and I sat down at the tables to have some cake. I noticed the little girl sitting across from us studying Ava and then Pei. She stared for quite some time. Then she looked at me with a very serious face and said "Are they Twins?". Now that tops the list of the comments/questions category. We could all learn a great deal from the innocent,untainted eyes of kids.

The momma in me will hang on to the hope that the people that are stopped dead in their tracks and engaged in a trance are just memorized.

Memorized by the sheer beauty of a sweet little girl who happens to be from the far east .

Whose beautiful brown eyes can tell a story without her uttering a single word.

A little girl who possesses the ability to look beyond the differences and accept us as her own .

Happy New Year!

2011-01-01T18:45:00.000-08:00

Wishing everyone a blessed New Year !

From our family to yours!

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-26T07:18:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone had a blessed Christmas ! We certainly did! The kids had a blast with all of their new loot.I have never seen our living room so full of gifts.

Tex even joined in on the festivities!

Ava has been home for over two years and knows the Christmas gift routine. But we were not sure how Pei would do .Well, lets just say she was not overwhelmed one bit! At one point she looked at me and said "more"! She loved every single second of it!!!!

But Ava kept us grounded and continued to remind us what Christmas was really out... Baby Jesus's birthday! She said she was going to hold him at his birthday party because he is sooo cute :) Ava's speech is coming along so well and she continues to make us laugh with all that she has to say!

Pei has been home four months and continues to amaze us with her progress. In that four months she has found her place in her new family.It shows with every hug and smile she shares. How truly blessed we are that she is now home with us and we can share our lives with her forever.

And thank you Santa for the laser pointer!

Robert at New Day needs your help!

2010-12-17T08:23:00.000-08:00

Look at this sweet face! This is Robert at New Day and he needs heart surgery. He is currently available for adoption in China and waiting on his Mom and Dad to find him! So while he waits to be found he needs to have his little heart fixed.

There is one post on the New Day blog about Robert that totally got to me . This is what it read:

"Robert, especially, seems to be really wanting a family these days... yesterday he watched a plane go through the sky. He pointed up at it and named off some of the other children who have been matched with families. (The children all associate airplanes with getting adopted, as they know they leave on airplanes.) Then he said, "I don't have pictures of my family yet. I don't have a mom and a dad."

That is truly heart breaking.

Roberts best friend , Ethan , has a wonderful family http://throughthemagicinthestars.blogspot.com/ who has taken Robert under their wing. They are putting together a fundraiser for Robert's heart surgery. The following message is from Tonya and Mike, Ethan's mom and dad.

"Sometimes I'd like to ask God why He allows poverty,
famine and injustice when He could do something about it.
But I'm afraid God might ask me the same question"

Robert was born on October 9, 2006. He was abandoned at the the gate of a local orphanage on March 9, 2007. When his parents couldn't be located, they admitted him into the hospital and diagnosed him with a severe heart defect.
He's received two surgeries to repair his heart defect so far and needs a third surgery. The organization that paid for his first two surgeries is no longer able to take care of him, so they returned him to his orphanage. Due to his extensive medical needs, his home orphanage asked New Day to take him while he waits for his third surgery. He came to New Day on March 11, 2010. He loves to be praised and he's able to understand and communicate with adults.
We know Robert's case is very difficult, but we hope to see him grow stronger and have a long and healthy life Robert is one of Ethan’s best friends at New Day Foster Home. We want to help Robert get his heart surgery.
We are willing to match ANY amount that you donate in order for this to happen! If you are willing to help in any way, the information for making contributions is below.
Surgery Needed:Heart Disease - Single ventricle, single atrium, pulmonary atresia Surgery cost: $10,000
Tax-deductible donations to the medical/surgical fund can be made by check or on-line through PayPal. If you would like your contribution to go towards Robert’s medical expenses, please e-mail us at foster@newdaycreations.com. If donating by check make it payable to:
New Day Charities P.O. Box 311671New Braunfels, TX 78131-1671Please write “NDFH Medical and Surgical Fund for Robert” in the memo line of your check.

I received this email from Adoptive Families requesting a survey about adoption time and cost. http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/articles.php?aid=1617
They will draw one winner for a $500. donation to the charity of your choice. It takes about 3 minutes to complete and I put New Day Charities (Roberts heart surgery fund) as my charity choice .
This is so simple and it could be a quick $ 500 for his heart surgery fund!

If enough of us pull together we could win this for this handsome fellow :)

Help Needed!!!

2010-12-08T05:33:00.000-08:00

Calling all of Santa's little helpers! This is a call for help straight from these little cuties at New Day ! Look at these beautiful faces ! Sigh:) How can you not help you ask !!!!! Well just read below what is on their blog ! And head over to the operation giggle webpage and help Santa get to New Day! We were blessed to sponsor beautiful Serena this year!The girls had a blast shopping for her!

We know that the rules of Wordless Wednesday specifically say that one is not to include words, but we've bent the rules before and we have some important news.Many of you know, and are intricately involved with the Operation Giggle program that is going on right now. This amazing group of people has joined together, for the second year in a row, to sponsor Christmas presents for every single child in our foster home. In a few short days they will be shipping us boxes full of wrapped goodies for the children to open at our Christmas party. But they have a problem. Are you interested in helping? Just head on over to Sherri's blog for more information!

Pei's Momma

2010-11-26T04:16:00.000-08:00

Each week seems to bring about a new surprise in the grief and attachment area. Pei seems to be grieving a bit this past week .

No trigger just a bit sad and far away.

So, it is in the midst of our after dinner routine that Pei decides to have a melt down. I really do not think much about it . She is two and occasionally will cry and call my name... repeatedly. So, I lean down and ask her what is wrong. And that is when it happened. She pulled away from me while she was still calling momma.

OUCH!

At that point I realized it was her foster mom that she was calling for not me.

I would be lying if I said that it did not hurt a little bit but it was like a light bulb went on in my head. She has done so well her with us that I really thought that she was moving past the grief.

But I was wrong .

Since we have been home from China we have not shown her any photos of the foster family. I thought that we should wait a bit and let her settle in a bit more . So after this I decided it was time. I can not even begin to imagine what is going on in her little mind and heart. The only momma that she has ever know and loved was there one day and gone the next.

So, the next day I pull up a photo of Pei and her foster mom. I think I held my breath until I saw her reaction. She looked at it and smiled. So, I am thinking okay you can breath now!

I pointed at Pei and said "Who is that?" and she said "Pei Pei". Next , I pointed to the foster momma and said "Who is that ?" and she answered " Momma".

[Insert a sigh ]

I have to say it felt like someone had kicked the air out of me. But worse than that my heart just broke for her.

So, then I pointed to my chest and said "Who am I?".

At that very moment that little girl came over to me and wrapped her arms around my legs and sweetly said "My Momma".

[insert a really happy sigh}

So, there you have it . My beautiful daughter has three mommas.

She has her birth mother who held and loved her for four days before she picked a place to leave her where she knew she would be found .

Next , she has her foster mom in China that was not afraid to love Pei knowing that she too would have to give her away. But despite that she loved and cared for her like her mother.

And last she has me. Her final and forever momma. I am the one that gets to reap the benefits and sacrifices of the first two mommas. I get the greatest gift of all ... Pei as my forever daughter.

So, one day when she asks about her life story I will tell her that she was so special that God gave her three mommas to love her.

As we sat down for Thanksgiving dinner I could not help but think back to last year. When we awoke on Thanksgiving day we received an email from X that we received our pre approval for Pei. Along with that PA we received some updated photos. I honestly was scared to death ! It was so real at that point, we truly had found our little girl.

But as I sit down for dinner this year this year that same little girl is sitting right beside me. I could not help but watch her and think last year I could only dream about her . But this year she is sitting as close as she can possibly get to me , meowing like a baby kitty. I can not help but feel so thankful that my baby girl is finally home .

Three months home

2010-11-10T13:56:00.000-08:00

November 2nd marked three months that Pei has been with us! I hardly can believe that it has been three months since we first laid eyes on our little girl. Now, it seems like time is flying by! But there was a time not so long ago that it seemed like the days would creep by! I longed to get past the grief and all of the trials and get to the "good "part. It would seem like at times we would take a step forward than take a couple back. All of the progress being made would seem like it would disappear in an instant. And I could not wait to hit the gas peddle and "blaze" past this part of the process.

Sad to say but true.

Where we are at today is a far cry from three months ago! We have now moved past all of the grief and the sadness has been replaced with true happiness with an occasional tantrum! That being said , Pei has become one of the happiest little girls I have ever seen. The transformation is incredible!

I have to admit I too have had a transformation. As each day passed the bond between Pei and I has grown . Through each test and trial ,trust has grown and from that a bond has formed.

I had stared at her photo for nine months and dreamed of the day I would get to finally hold her. I loved a little girl that I had never meet or held but I knew she was my daughter. That is the beautiful thing about adoption. After meeting her came the hard part. I had to let go of my image of her and get to know the real Pei. I have discovered through this process that she is an amazing little girl who has a trusting and loving heart. One by one she has let the walls come down and has chosen to love and accept us as her own. I have had a glimpse at the wonderful character that she possess. I can only imagine the kind of young woman she will grow to become. But for now she is the kind of little sister that is always eager to cater to her big sisters artistic whims :)

and is never to far from her trusted,tattered friend ,bunny.

The other day my Mom said "Pei is the kind of little girl that can just steal your heart in an instant".

And indeed she has stolen mine:)

Now, I can look back and say we needed to go through this storm to get to the rainbow.

BOO !!!!!!!!

2010-10-30T08:39:00.000-07:00

We had a great day today visiting the zoo ...again! This seems to be one of those venues that never gets old with the kiddos and the mommies have a good time visiting too! The girls dressed up for the zoo Halloween festivities.The girls were the fairies , Tinkerbell and Silvermist . They loved dressing up ! Of course, we visited the goats again . Ava has decided she wants one for the house. But I think we will just visit the ones at the zoo for now :)

The week started out rather sketchy in the attachment area. Pei has regressed back into the anxious attachment zone. You know the zone where mom is not allowed but a mere 5 feet away. And heaven forbid you have a visitor come to the house! Nothing short of a wave of hysteria breaks out like a virus with the simple word "hello". Pei's hysteria freaks Ava out too! So, I am not sad to leave this week behind and move on into next week!

I am so thankful for my friends and a much needed outing with all the girls!

Windows to the soul

2010-10-15T06:37:00.000-07:00

Let me just start this by saying Pei has done so well adjusting to all of the change that has been thrown her way. Her entire world has been turned completely upside down.

Just imagine one day waking up and your family dressing you to leave your home. You think you are just going out maybe to the store or to see a friend. But when they leave you at the orphanage you do not know this is goodbye ...forever. So within a few hours you are dropped off with complete strangers . Reality begins to set in when you drive off with all of these strangers.But nothing like the reality that occurs at bedtime. Fear takes over and panic sets in.

These people smell different,look different and speak a language you do not understand.

Imagine just how frightening this would be at the age of two years old.

I think we have been so impressed by Pei's resilience. The two weeks in China were so hard but after coming home and establishing a predictable routine she has settled in . So when we had a complete raging tantrum today, I am reminded how frustrating this still is for her. She is still just a baby but is really tall for her age so you often forget there is a years difference between her and Ava. We have really expected a lot from her. I have been reminded today that underneath all of the giggles and smiles there is a lingering sadness for her losses. Such a heavy burden for such a little girl. But her eyes tell her story.Without any words exchanged her eyes are open windows straight to her little heart. And they tell it all.

Just as quick as the sadness and frustration consumes her ,it is gone again ...for now.

And she is back to the sweet little girl that we have gotten to know and love.

Full of giggles and kisses.

A little of this and a little of that!

2010-10-12T08:39:00.000-07:00

We have been busy the past couple of weeks! We have been back to the zoo, went to a fun farm and been visiting with our friends Quinn and Wren!
The sisters are doing so well with each other! There is a lot more giggles and silliness with the occasional sister show down!But that is expected!
Here our a few photos of our latest adventures!Check out these Texas cowgirls !

We also had a wonderful visit from Ms. Ana from Russia ! As you can tell Ava LOVES her!

What a silly girl!

Monkey see , Monkey do!

2010-09-28T13:43:00.000-07:00

Today we escaped the confines of our home and ventured off to the zoo! I have found it difficult to go too far with Pei due to her bad relationship with the car!

Pei + Car = vomit!!!!!

I have been saying that God definitely has a since of humor! Anyone who knows me, knows that I absolutely H.A.T.E. vomit. No one likes it but I have been known to leave a restaurant if I see someone puke! So, God leads me right to my beautiful daughter, who happens to suffer from major motion sickness and barfs every time we get into the car!(I think I hear him laughing!!) Maybe he thought I needed some help in this area. Well, since being home with Pei I have tackled my fear of vomit . I have to say I am doing quite well!

So ,entered my little friend Dramamine and we were off ! We met up with Nikki and Quinn . We all had a great day visiting and seeing all of the animals.

Quinn checking out the girls! Yes Quinn you are correct they are DOUBLE TROUBLE!!!!!

Well on to the petting zoo. Where my two were looking for just the right victim!

Picture of the victim

Run little guy!!!!

Pei giving her assessment of his vulnerability!

Yes, he will do !

Well ,all I can say was that this little guy did not seem to mind going to the beauty shop. And yes he was alive! And no he did not have to wear a lavender bow! Lucky guy!

Farewell little guy!

Here is to more puke free outings!!!!!!!!

Thanks Dramamine!

1 month home !

2010-09-15T12:10:00.000-07:00

I can hardly believe that it has been one month since we arrived home with Pei!Wow what a difference this time has made.
I am not going to lie, this was hard.
Really hard.
I think having been through one adoption already had prepared us in many ways for what we had experienced but in many ways it had not. I know it can take a least six months before everyone starts to feel the new norm. So me being the patient gal that I am ;) locked in for the long haul.(Okay maybe patient does not always describe me but I am tenacious!)
Waiting and hoping that by some miracle that Pei would begin healing ,trusting and embracing her new life. Now, that is a tall order for a little girl who just had everyone and everything she has ever loved ripped away just six weeks ago.
At times I wondered has this little girl been shown affection. I know , I know she has only known us for a little over a month now ,but the questions about her life before us do come and go.It is like reading a book but you have never read the beginning.At times you feel kind of lost.
We have seen the most amazing things unfold within Pei in just this past week. She is such a sweet and loving little girl.This is a far cry from the little girl we met just weeks ago that was grieving ,hitting and guarded.There are several stages of grief and she went through them all.
I now know that she was completely riddled with fear ,sadness and anger/frustration over the loss of her world.
Just a few weeks earlier ,Pei would scream if Bret would try to hold her. Now, when he comes home Pei runs to him calling "Papa" and kisses him on the lips! That is some major progress!!!!!
When she first would approach me she would stand at a distance waiting for an invitation to climb in my lap and then she would back into me . Even though I was the one she had initially clung to she was so anxious . As she would stand and stare at me she would look down at the floor ,chew on her fingers and then sit so still in your lap. Almost like she was fearful that if she moved I would put her back down. Now , she runs over to me like a baby girl should run to her mama , lifts her arms up and smiles the sweetest smile as she climbs into my lap. Her anxiety has been replaced with confidence, her tears replace with giggles.
I know we still have a way to go .
I can hardly wait to see where we are at in six months from now. I am finally seeing the rainbow!

I am so thankful that God sent me many people along this journey just at the right time to ease my fears .He closed doors that were not meant to open and led me straight to my little girl. I look at our sweet girl and could not imagine a life without her in it :)!

Treasures from China

2010-09-06T18:57:00.001-07:00

While in China we were blessed to receive some photos of Pei as a baby. What a treasure these are to have! As you look at them you can kind of piece together her life before joining our family. Of course there are pieces of this puzzle that we will never fully know .These pictures span from her life as a baby to just hours before she met us.

As the weeks go by we are seeing the most amazing little girl unfold before our eyes. As she starts to trust us more and the walls are coming down a sweet ,silly little girl is emerging.
So here is just a glimpse into Pei's life before she become part of a family.

Our blessed family.

Enjoy!

Straight from the trenches of motherhood!

2010-09-01T12:32:00.000-07:00

We have been really busy over the past week! We have been potty training , going to doctor appointments,refereeing, wiping tears and boogers, and just getting to know one another.Did I mention there has been a invasion of Barney and Elmo that has spread like a bad virus! I am up to my neck in the trenches of motherhood!

First off potty training a two and three year old at the same time is not fun! Ava was almost done with her training before we left for China. Well lets just say that the squattie potties unraveled all of that work! Pei came to us potty trained but the emotional strain took it's toll so it was back to square one for her too. So my days are spent with many little people potty breaks and lots of skittles rewards!

We have been to the Pediatrician and the ENT specialist. Pei had every test known to mankind and passed with flying colors! She is in the 75th percentile for height and 25th for weight. Her blood work looked great too! We then went on to the ENT specialist. The doctor assured me that most of these kids with microtia do not have an eardrum in the affected ear. So, we went on to audiology. Audiology was amazed at the results of her hearing tests. She can hear ...in both ears! So, back to the doctor who then said "HMMMMM?" She has the option to do reconstruction on her ear at 6 -7 years old. Personally I think she should be older and be able to help make the decision. So we were pleased as anything with these results. We walked into this not knowing to what degree she could hear. The orphanage director denied us a copy of the ENT report from China. So we were prepared for possible deafness in one or both ears. So this report was a wonderful report :) As far as the facial palsy it is so minor !He said I would not do anything about that till later. I have to be honest I was not planning on doing anything at all about that. If she wants to address that as an adult I will support her in that decision. I have to say that she has one of the sweetest smiles this momma has ever seen!

As far as everything on the attachment front we have been seeing improvements everyday. Pei is becoming more and more comfortable in her new surroundings and with her new family. As hard as this has been for us I am reminded daily of just how much more difficult this is for her. There is one thing here that I am bewildered by.

Pei and food.

She has no full button. Her behavior around food is very much like a child that has been in an orphanage. Our pediatrician said she is thin . During the first week with us she was so anxious and nervous so her not eating really well was not a surprise. She would often hold food in her mouth but then again you were not sure if it was different than what she had been used to and the emotional strain that she was under. We are now at home and have a very predictable eating schedule. I have the girls eating three meals a day and two snacks. Of course food is always available but regardless she has no full gage. She is not sensitive to textures at all. But she constantly asks for more . I am hoping this will resolve itself over time as it did with Ava. But it does make you wonder how much time did she spend hungry.

Here are some pictures from today and as you can tell the girls are becoming more like sisters each and everyday! As each day passes we are hearing more and more giggles!

Home

2010-08-19T05:46:00.000-07:00

We finally made it home!!!! What a crazy travel itinerary we had but we made it home safe and sound! And believe me there is no place like home!!!!

I was really surprise that Pei took right to the boy's after being home for only an hour she sat in Nick's lap and played! For this little girl that is a big deal!

Our time in China was a blur. The two weeks went by quickly but upon coming home it felt like we had been gone forever. We are so glad to get home. Living in numerous hotels with two young children is not easy! So just having the comforts of home has made this so much better.

I have to be honest . This is probably been one of the most difficult things that I have ever done. I know that no two adoptions are the same. So I walked into this knowing that this would not be the same as Ava's adoption. Both of these girls had the same beginning but very different experiences while in country. Ava was in numerous hospitals and then finally in a orphanage. She had no consistent caregivers and came to us like a blank canvas waiting for someone to make the first stroke. Pei on the other hand stayed at the orphanage just a few days and then was place with a foster family. She then stayed with this family till the day we meet her. So we prepared ourselves for a child that would mourn and grieve. Well so we thought.

I have to say that I was totally unprepared. I do not know if I could have prepared myself for this. Pei was in a combination of shock,panic and mourning. I found myself wanting to help her but not really sure what to do. As a parent it was a very helpless feeling.We just had Ava's two year post placement done for Russia . Our social worker is also an attachment therapist and said that this is the hard part .A child that has been in foster care has a difficult start but in the long run is so much better off.

We have made great progress but we have a long way to go. Pei is two and came to us with her own personality and way of doing things. So we skipped right over the honeymoon phase and dove head first into the discovery phase.We are all learning about each other and finding the new norm.

Here are a few tidbits that we have discovered:

~I have to say this is such a smart little girl!

~She is picking up English right and left.

~ She can eat her weight in cantaloupe!

~Loves Chocolate milk!

~Loves McDonald's french fries!

~Scared of strangers

~Loves Tex and Rocky

~Loves dancing and music

~ She loves to bath and swim!

~ She has one small problem with hitting ,so we are working on that!

Layer by layer we are discovering her personality.Pei is a scared ,sweet little girl that has had her whole world turned upside down. Please pray for her heart to heal and that she continues to trust us.

I am taking a small break from our blog to post for my friend ,Nikki, who is leaving this next week to pick up Quinn!!!!! We are so excited about finally meeting this sweet girl! So I figure one blog to manage,school starting and doctor appointments is enough with the dynamic duo in tow !

So, see ya in a couple of weeks!!!

Leaving on a jet plane!

2010-08-13T06:02:00.000-07:00

We are leaving to go home!!!!!!!!!!

We have enjoyed our time here but it is time to go home! We have made lots of new friends and made lots of new memories . We had a great time with all of the other BAAS families! Just look at these beautiful girls!

We will be leaving bright and early tomorrow heading to Hong Kong and then on to LA.Please pray for a safe and smooth flight.

I will leave you with a few pics we took today at the Garden Hotel.

See ya in the USA!!

The sun is beginning to shine!

2010-08-11T05:00:00.000-07:00

Today we went back to the Island to finish our shopping with another BAAS fam! Ashley and I had not reached our quota for squeaky shoes!!!! Everyone knows that a girl can not have enough shoes!!!! So all of our girls are no exception!I love the island but staying at the Garden is great too and the Island is just a taxi cab away!
We had a great day with the girls. Pei seems to be having more fun with Ava too! I just know these two will be the best of friends one day and it was certainly great to to see a glimpse of that today!
This trip has been hard but we are finally beginning to see the sun with Pei. She is one of the smartest children we have ever seen . I mean really smart. Maybe that is why it has been so difficult for her. She is so observant and knows exactly what is going on.I pray that her trust will come quickly and she can continue to let her guard down.
From the moment I meet her I felt like I have already known her. Not because of what I imagined her to be but because she reminds me so much of my friends daughter, Ariana. Michele wait till you meet her you are not going to believe this! Another petite olive skinned beauty!
Well here are some pics from today! What a difference a few days make! We have a long way to go but we are making progress!!!!

Turning a corner

2010-08-09T07:09:00.000-07:00

Today was a much better day for all of us! Pei seemed a bit relaxed today! It feels almost like we are turning a corner. Although it is a small corner ...I will take it!
We went to the island to shop and have all the BAAS kiddos have their TB skin test read. Everyone passed with flying colors!
So we shopped at record speed and then went to the White Swan for some red couch photos. We also ventured out to lunch with our group. It was great to visit with all of the other BAAS families!
Here our a few photos from our day!

One step forward ,two steps back

2010-08-07T23:48:00.000-07:00

When you are trying to get to know the grieving child it is just that one step forward and then two steps back. Pei is still grieving and is very guarded with us. We occasionally get a giggle but for now she is very serious and anxious. If I sit down she is fine but if I start moving around the hotel room she follows closely and whimpers. Nap and bedtime seem to be the greatest source of stress for her. We are hoping that her anxiety will begin to tapper off but living in a hotel is not helping!
We had a great day today. We went to the Yuntai Garden with several other BAAS families today. Despite the heat and intense humidity it was great to visit with the other families and see all of their beautiful kiddos.
We are off to the pool!Tomorrow we are going to the island to get the TB results and do a bit of shopping. Here are few pics from today!

Half way there!

2010-08-07T01:55:00.000-07:00

Well the past few days have been LONG! Pei has grieved pretty heavy and would not let anyone come near her but me. So, it was a little stressful the last couple of days in Nanning. When we started packing up to leave the Marriott her anxiety was building .She retreated and only wanted to be held the rest of the day. I really enjoyed visiting our daughters hometown but I am glad to be moving on to Guangzhou!Pei gets car sick so dragging the kids to do a lot of sight seeing was not in the cards.So we spent a lot of time in the room. We did go visit Green Mountain and it was beautiful. The girls loved feeding the koi!
So after a flight delay we finally arrived in Guangzhou and crawled into bed about 2:00am. So this morning we had to be up and in the lobby at 9:30 to go to Pei's medical.She woke up this morning and was back to her silly happy self :) So we were decided to take a chance and send Dad with Pei. I figured it could be a great way for them to bond with him being the rescuer OR he could be the bad guy! Well it worked! And she did great with him!She needed 4 shots and they said her hearing seems good.
So here a few pics from the past few days in Nanning and Guangzhou.
Enjoy!

Goodbye

2010-08-04T00:33:00.000-07:00

Today was a really hard day. First off the car and Pei are not on good terms.Poor baby gets sick every time we get into the car. So when we left the hotel I am armed with my little baggy. By the time we get to the orphanage she is looking green from the car ride. So we get out of the van and coming down the street is her Foster mom. Well she jumped to the ground and took of for her. Her arms were out and she was screaming her name. It was the saddest thing I have ever seen. This is the first time that we have heard Pei cry out loud. Up till now she has silently weep. We sat and visited with the family. It was wonderful to meet with them and hear all about Pei. They are very loving and have taken good care of Pei. She has been blessed to have them in her life and them to have had her.

We bid our farewells and Pei cried herself to sleep in the car...out loud. She is no longer trying to internalize all that she is feeling .I know today was hard for her but has helped jump start this grieving for the only family that she has ever know.

Pei came back to the room had a bath, some noodles and a 7 up. Then she was back to her silly self giggling and playing. But when it came to bed time she crawled up in my lap and tears just rolled down her cheeks. In so many ways she is like a baby.She has a pacifier and it is very soothing to her. But she is also a active little girl that runs ,jumps and has the most infectious giggle. She is so smart. You say words to her and she will repeat them perfectly. Her hearing seems really good. We had prepared ourselves for the unknown in this area because we really were not sure to what degree her hearing ability would be. She is the same height as Ava but she is so thin. Ava looks like a Russian wrestler next to her! So we will be hitting the bluebell ice cream when we get home!

Today we are off to do a little site seeing! Wish us luck in the car! For those of you that are traveling soon I am posting a picture of the naval patch that they use for motion sickness.It seems to work pretty good!

The New Norm

2010-08-03T14:52:00.000-07:00

The past few days have been a blurr.My days and night are a bit mixed up and I have been waking up at 4:00a.m.! I am glad to say these two have been sleeping in :)

Things have been going well here. We are all trying to find the new norm.Pei has done really well. Yesterday there was a few moments of laughter and giggles but it seemed like it is starting to sink in that she is not just visiting us.At times she will seriously study us . She is starting to follow me around everywhere. If I step into the other room she goes to check where I am at and calls mama!.

Pei is so smart and picking up words quickly. She is so timid and compliant. But rather assertive at times with Ava. I know she was in a foster home with a boy who was adopted in the US this year. She also has a foster sister that she lived with. So she definitely is used to kids!

Ava has been just in awe of Pei! If you can not tell by the look on her face!She is really being a great big sister! Here are the two giggling sisters!

When it is time for bed she becomes so quite. I picked her up and placed her in bed and that is where she stays. She will not move a but only her eyes. I think at times she is terrified but unlike Ava who will yell ,scream ,cry and verbally ,tell you Pei internalizes all of this. It is so hard to watch because you want to comfort her and take all that she is feeling away.There were no tears last night but I really wish she would have a really good cry and not try to be so brave.She is still such a baby .Still taking a bottle of formula 3 x's a day but so brave that she does not just break down and sob. I am having a hard time wrapping my head around this.

Today, we have been invited to the orphanage by the director to meet with the foster parents. I really think that seeing them will be sad but also bring in a little closure for Pei. She has been with this family since she was an infant . So, I can only imagine what this little child is feeling inside.We are also going to Pei's finding place.I am sure this will be a very emotional day for all.

I will leave you with a few pics from yesterday!

Nikki ,Mc Gruger figured out how to get on my blog! So, sister you get a break today!

Nick and Jake We love and miss you soooooo much!

Gotcha Day!

2010-08-02T12:03:00.000-07:00

Today I met my daughter! I can not believe this day is finally here. We went to the Lottery hotel in Nanning at 3:30. We went in a room with several other families. The first family was called up and in walked the most frightened little girl I have ever seen. She cried so hard that I began crying. It was truly heartbreaking. They then tell us to go into the other room. When I rounded the corner there she was! She immediately got out her photo album and started looking at the photos and matching our faces to them . She was calling me Momma with 20 minutes. She obviously had been looking at our photos for months now. Ava and Pei began running around the room and giggling. This is one of the happiest little girls I have ever seen! The orphanage director slipped out and we were off to the hotel. At this point not one tear had been shed. We ordered room service and the girls played . So we are getting ready for bed and in total silence, tears rolled down Pei's little cheeks. She silently mourned the loss of her foster Momma tonight. I held her close, gave her a bottle and she drifted off to sleep.

Please pray that her little heart heals quickly. It is so heartbreaking to see.

Here are a few pics ! I will post more tomorrow!

We are here in Nanning....FINALLY!

2010-07-31T21:48:00.000-07:00

After missing our flight to Nanning yesterday we are glad to get back on track! We felt so much better this morning after having gone to bed at 6:30 even though we were all awake at 4:00 a.m.! We had breakfast and then we were off to the airport ... again! I thought Ava might boycott another flight, but I do have to say she has been really great! She has caused quite a stir here. People crowd around and really stare. I guess they have not seen a great deal of people with really light hair. So I have learned to walk fast, really fast!

Despite us all feeling like we have been thrown in a paper bag and shook up, we are here in Pei's hometown! I can hardly believe that we have finally made it to this point! We have been loving this little girl for 9 months now. At times it seemed like this was never going to happen, but we are really here! We will have all day Sunday to rest and get ready for Monday. We will be meeting Pei at 3:30. We are so excited about finally meeting her!

I will leave you with some pics of Goldielocks at the Garden on Saturday and the Marriott in Nanning on Sunday!

We are here.....sort of!

2010-07-30T06:45:00.000-07:00

We arrived in China just hours ago! We left our home on Wednesday and had two flights in our home state before we made our way to LA. On the way we received notice that our flight was going to be delayed a bit. Well it was scheduled to depart LA to Hong Kong @ 1:40 ... a.m. So when we were looking at our crazy itinerary I had a chilling thought. Our flight was scheduled to depart on California time not Texas. So that added an extra couple of hours of misery ! Did I mention that Goldielocks had only a 20 minute nap and I was praying that she was going to stay up till what her little body thought was 5:00 am! Well, she did really well. We only had a few meltdowns and I only claim two of those :)

So when I say we sort of made it, it was the flight delay in LA caused us to miss our flight to Nanning. So, we are in Guangzhou at the Garden Hotel, showered and all in bed! And yes it is only 4:00 p.m.! We will be up bright and early to catch a flight to Nanning!

Hang on Pei we will be there soon!

Go !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-07-28T05:17:00.000-07:00

Well, we are packed! And oh are we packed :) (No laughing about how much I packed!)

I have spent the last few days running around like a crazy woman and trying to squeeze in as much time with the boy's. I absolutely dread telling them goodbye today. So, with the impending dreaded goodbyes I spent the day yesterday balling! Ava came over and looked at me really sweet and softly said "Baby"! Yes, Goldielocks called me a baby for balling!!!! I have to agree with her I am a baby when it comes to my kids!

We will be posting our trip here on our blog via my friend Nikki !

When asked where Ava is going she proudly states "Peyton's"!!!! So ready or not Pei , sister is on her way and has already told me that she is going to hug you tight!

Please pray for safe travels for us ,safety for the boy's and a healed heart for Peyton as she leaves her foster family.

Set....

2010-07-26T09:54:00.000-07:00

We have spent the weekend packing and getting ready for our trip! I feel like I am almost done but I do not know if I should say that I am ready yet. The first and biggest hurdle is leaving the boys. I am dreading this . And yes, I will ball like a baby when I leave my babies!My large family is moving in our home and taking care of everyone and everything while we are gone.

Now, really what should top this list of worry is taking the slow boat to China with Ava in tow!Our travel itinerary is insane! First ,we board a flight in our hometown to another city in our home state. Switch planes and then on to LA. Our flight then leaves for Hong Kong @ 1:40 a.m. (which Ava's little body will think it is 3:40a.m.) Are you feeling sorry for me yet? Then we get on a train to Guangzhou and then board a flight to Nanning. We arrive in Nanning on Friday . I am taking all prayers specifically ones that surround Goldielocks and be sure to mention the words "no meltdowns" or 'tantrums'! He will get the picture!

This sweet angelic child is defintely three and quite unpredictable :) So, if you see us on the plane I do not blame you if you act like you do not know us! Dad do not get any ideas this does not apply to you!

My head had really been spinning around with all of the random details of our trip but I have found myself on a count down. Not a count down of when we leave but a count down for Pei's foster family. I woke up this morning and said they now have one week left with this sweet child. My heart is really heavy for them. What a selfless act to take a child into your heart and home knowing that you will one day hand her to another family. I am grateful that the Lord has planted this in my head and I am stuck on this ! I pray that I am still thinking about this when we board that flight with Goldielocks!!!!!

Two more days !!!!!

Ready...

2010-07-24T06:17:00.000-07:00

I keep asking myself this very question!!!!I have been walking in circles for the past couple of weeks. I have gone from the checklist ,then side tracked by the kids ,then back to the suitcase and then find myself standing in a room baffled by why I originally went in there!!!! I am glad I had the forethought to stay on task and glance through my suitcase...I forgot all my under garments!!!! That would have been just fantastic :)!

Amid all of the chaos of packing and planning this trip I took some time out to meet with a great group of mommas in the area. We are a group of seven ladies that are either in process or have adopted internationally. These 10 beautiful girls come from China, Russia and Ethiopia . We also have several home grown kiddos in our group too!It was so fantastic to get to share an afternoon with these woman who share a heart for these precious kids! We are planning to meet once a month for our little ladybug club!

Well ,back to my packing! Which BTW ALL of my bags are over the weight limit!!!

The above photo about sums it up! The old deer in the headlights but add a really fuzzy wig to this pic and that is me!!!!!!!

Happy Birthday to both my girls!!!!!!!!

2010-07-19T12:16:00.000-07:00

Today is both my girls birthdays. Ava is three and Pei is two! Ava's birthday is July 19th and Pei's is July 20th (and it is 3:00a.m.,July 20th in China right now!) ...

So, Happy Birthday to each of my baby girls!!!!!!

I love you both soooooooo much!

(Look at those faces.That is going to be double trouble!!!!)

Saturday Surprise!

2010-07-17T10:29:00.000-07:00

I awoke this morning to the most wonderful surprise! On the Hope 4 China children blog was a post about Linda Greenshield's trip to Nanning SWI last year. It is a wonderful post about the difference foster care makes in the lives of these children. As I was reading along there she was!!! Not one picture BUT five photos of Pei ! These were taken nine months ago right before we locked Pei's file.
How blessed we are that Pei was so well taken care of and loved since she was an infant. Not all kids are this lucky.Someone cared enough to make a tremendous difference in our new daughters life.When we return home we will be "paying it forward" and sponsoring one of the sweet kids on Grace and Hope's website. I already have her picked out :)

Here is the link to Hope 4 China's Children:

http://hope4china.blogspot.com/2010/07/nanning-kids.html

Pei in in the blue jean dress on the back of her foster dad's bike!
Just 17 days till I hold my daughter :)

Breathtaking!

2010-07-13T11:24:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning to an email from X with my CA date. It is set for August 11th.
What a great way to start the day :)

But wait it gets even better!

You ask yourself what could be better than your CA date ...

a beautiful photo of your daughter at her 2nd birthday party surrounded by all of her friends!
She literally took my breath away!

~ Ladybugs n love from above ROCKS!!!!!!!

That little bird was right!

2010-07-12T16:46:00.000-07:00

Our travel approval arrived today at our agency! We have requested a Consulate appointment for 8/4. But if that is already full then we will try to get our CA for 8/10.We should know something in a day or so.
Either date is really fine with us!
Hang on baby girl your momma is coming to China!

A little birdie told me ...

2010-07-09T11:54:00.000-07:00

Our Travel Approval should be at Bay Area Adoption Services offices on Monday!!!!!!
Woohoo!!!!!

The Day We Met

2010-07-07T06:09:00.000-07:00

Today is a day that is etched so deeply in my memory. Two years ago , we boarded a plane for Russia with no idea who was waiting on the other side. All we knew was there was a little girl waiting on a family and we were a family looking for our little girl.When the handed me this tiny girl, I was terrified. All of the planning ,waiting and dreaming was over. Sitting before me was a tiny blue eyed babe carefully studing each one of us. I felt like a deer in the headlights! My mind raced in a thousand directions. At that time Ava was nothing like I had exspected BUT everything that he had planned for us. It took me a few moments to wrap my head around all of the medical info and this tiny fair haired babe before me.

As I look back over the video of the day we met , I have to laugh because despite the fear that had knocked the breath out of me minutes earlier ,the moment you where placed in my arms I knew.

As you looked up in my eyes, I introduced myself as your mommy and I think at that moment you knew too.

We had been waiting on each other.

I look back and it is hard to believe that it has been only two years since we first met. Somehow it seems like you have been here with me forever. I think that is because God placed you in my heart long ago.

And there you will stay forever!
I love you sweet girl!

Is it July Already!?!?

2010-07-01T10:46:00.000-07:00

Well, we are rolling into the month of July ! I am shocked at how fast the past few weeks have gone by. Over the course of the past few weeks , we have been busy getting ready for our trip, waiting for our TA ,and celebrating some of our summer birthdays!
This is what has been going on in our crazy lives:

Nick turned 16!!!!! And now is driving! YIKES!

The girl's room is still a work in progress but Ava is excited about her new shared space! This is the second bedroom the girls have in the house.The other room is upstairs and way to far away from this helicopter momma! Their second bedroom is the sitting area in our bedroom! Yes, it does look like a scene from Goldilocks and the three bears but there is going to be four bears :) I bet you can not tell how excited little Goldilocks is about her sister coming home! Long live the wave of pink that is slowly taking over our home!!!! Sorry fellas!!!
Ava also is transitioning out of Early Childhood intervention services in the next few weeks. We are so proud of the progress that she has made since coming home in September '08. Ava had global delays then and now some of those same areas she scored above her age category! The only delay that remains is articulation and we will continue to work on that via our district speech pathologist. I am so proud of this little girl! It is hard to believe that next week marks our two year anniversary of meeting this amazing little girl.What a wonderful change she has brought to all of our lives!
We received word that our TA's could be another week or two away. So, I am estimating that we will be traveling the last week of July through the first week of August.We are also putting together "The Little Ladybug Club" play group! We have the neatest group of ladies in our area that are all adopting from China. My hope is that we can get together once a month and these sweet girls will develop life long friendships!

So, in between all of that we are swimming, packing, shopping and dreaming of the day we get to bring our sweet ladybug home!
I can almost see that pot of gold at the end of this rainbow!

Article 5!

2010-06-22T12:14:00.000-07:00

Now, we are officially waiting for our travel approval !
We will be traveling sometime in July. Our travel approval could come somewhere between 1- 3 weeks from now! We are really hoping to be celebrating Pei's 2nd birthday with her on July 20th but we will have to wait and see.

So, as we enter our final stage of the process we are trying to enjoy our summer and not obsess too much over all the details!
But I think I am failing miserably!

Yeah ,who am I kidding. I am one obsessing , nesting , packing , shopping , attachment reading , Nanning news reading, blog stalking , excited , scared , happy ,weepy , ladybug lovin momma!
Praying for a fast TA , so I can keep whatever sanity I have left !!!!!

Calling all July forever families!

2010-06-11T07:15:00.000-07:00

Well ,we are one week into our waiting for Article 5. So , in approximately 3 weeks or so we should receive our Travel approval. We first laid eyes on Pei a little over seven months ago. I have to say seeing that little face day after day has been a double edge sword. It has made this journey seem slow and cruel at times. But just when you think you have had enough that same little face "refuels" you to keep on going!
We are really hoping to be there before Pei's birthday on July 20th but we will have to see . So, we sent a cake through Lady bugs n Love for her to celebrate her birthday/adoption early with her friends and foster family there.
Just two years ago in July we traveled to meet our sweet little Russian princess! It seems like it was just yesterday. I love that the girls will share the month of July for their birthdays and also meeting their forever families!
If you are traveling in July leave me a comment and tell me when you think you will be in China. I am really excited to know who will be there around the same time. And be sure to sign in on the google followers on the bottom right hand corner of my blog . I would love to know who is following along!
Well ,that is all for now ! Back to summer ,shopping , packing and dreaming of our sweet ladybug!
(Here are some pics of my recent retail therapy session and my really cute Russian swimsuit model!)

Moving right along!

2010-06-05T18:06:00.000-07:00

We were cabled on the June 1st and now we will begin our wait for our Article 5!
We are almost there baby girl!

Journey to our Empress Ladybug at OneTrueMedia.com

2010-05-27T09:12:00.001-07:00

We are so excited to be closing in on our Travel Approval! Here is our journey to little Pei so far!
To be continued in China!
(Be sure to mute the music player at the bottom of my blog!)

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Guess what ...

2010-05-24T14:35:00.000-07:00

Wahoo!!!!!!!!!!!

Check out this giveaway!

2010-05-22T15:11:00.000-07:00

Go over to Kelly's blog and check out these beautiful silver necklace charms!They are doing a giveaway with a free custom charm of your choice!
They are beautiful!

http://raudenbushfamily.blogspot.com/

http://http://www.jiayindesigns.com/JiayinDesigns/Home.html

Reservations Anyone?

2010-05-20T12:06:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been on a really long road trip and you can not wait to get to your destination!You know the kind where you think if you do not get to where you need to be soon you might go bonkers! But reality is you just might drive everyone else bonkers first!
Well, we are back in the immigration line.
Again.
But I feel like I was just here .
Well, probably cause I was!
So, this is the last phase of our journey getting us to our travel approval:

I8oo approval -Hopefully in my hands next week!
NVC letter - 1 week after I800 approval
Aricle 5 - 2 weeks
TA - 2-3 weeks
CA - 1-3 weeks (hopefully the first)!

So, let's just do a little math here.

1 + 1 + 2 + 2 or 3 + 1 or 3 = only 7 - 10 weeks left ...

Seven weeks sounds so good! It actually is the same week in July we met Ava just two years ago :)

Oh yeah, This momma is checking in to bonkersville!Have any of you ever been there. For those of you who are saying I do not know if I have been there , let me give you the directions.
It is somewhere between checking your emails every few minutes and China's latest breaking news, Rumor Queen Charts to the East, your caller ID to the West and your cell phone all of the time! You also qualify as a visitor if you have a restraining order issued against you from the USPS , USCIS or Fed Ex (any combo works).
Ring a bell anyone?

Taking reservations ... Anyone care to join me???????

Home

2010-05-12T05:04:00.000-07:00

Home : A home is a place of residence or refuge comfort.

I have started and stopped this post at least a thousand times. Not really sure what to say.
I received word yesterday of the passing of my friend Nikki's daughter ,Mckenna, in China.We are completely shocked and heartbroken.
When Nikki and I began this journey we would have never guessed that our daughters would end up both residing in Nanning. Let alone the same city and sponsored by the same organization. We just knew that our little girls knew each other. One thing for sure was if by some chance they did not know each other in China, they were destined to be friends once home in Texas.
This precious little Mckenna had touched so many lives in her short life.It is so hard to understand why her ,why was her life cut so short.I just have to trust that God has big plans for this little angel.
Please pray for Mckenna's family. My hope is that God gives them wisdom ,courage and peace during this difficult time.
Please pray for this little angel as she is finally in her heavenly home.

We love you sweet baby girl. Always.

http://www.aladybugslegacy.blogspot.com/

The count down begins!!!!!!

2010-05-04T12:51:00.000-07:00

Our friendly fed ex delivery man showed up at promptly at 10:30 a.m. to deliver our LOA. This was just what the doctor ordered! I have to say I feel re-energized after seeing all of our names on the Letter of Acceptance! Now it seems like this is really happening and our little girl will be home with us (hopefully) by July!

Well, I do not know what it is but if you recall the last time I went out on major adoption related business I saved a dogs life!I am an "animal in crisis" magnet! Well, today was no exception but it was a featherless baby bird!He was having lunch in the middle of the intersection! To make this story short I was once again running through a busy intersection but this time with a baby mockingbird in tow! It was like deja vu!
All I can figure is my TA process is going to move swiftly for saving this little fella's life!!!!
I will leave you with my beautiful Russian "animal in crisis" assistant holding our precious LOA!
I will leave you all with a humorous thought for the day :
Today I dropped off my son for drivers education and just a few hours earlier I was shopping for a new diaper bag ! Go ahead and laugh! Lesson here: never say never people!
Hold on Pei we are almost there!!!!

I have been waiting to say this ...

2010-04-30T10:51:00.000-07:00

WAHOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sugar and Spice

2010-04-28T11:27:00.000-07:00

We we signed with CSS back in '07 to begin our Russian adoption. I joined their agency yahoo group green and eager for knowledge of international adoption. We got in line with all of the other families waiting on referrals. The lines were split between those waiting for a boy and those waiting for a girl. Along the way God had sent me two angels, Ondrea and Michelle. No kidding, they paved the way for me and become my support system . We shared the ups and downs that adoption can bring. These friendships were created via long distance emails and phone calls.We were all in the girl line. All mothers of boys and each of us shared a deep desire to have a daughter of our very own.

On Monday , Michelle and I finally got to met face to face! . With this visit the little girls that we had dreamed about for so long finally got to giggle and relish in each others company. I am so amazed at how far these little girls have come in their short little lives. Watching them play they have no idea that they both came from Russia and had shared sad beginnings. They were totally unaware of the countless hours of planning , sharing and dreaming that went on between their mommas.( And do not forget shopping! Retail therapy is a must during the long wait of adoption!) Seeing Michelle was like seeing an old friend I have known for years. We are planning another reunion soon! So this time we will schedule it when Ondrea , Meg and Peyton will be able to join in!

This visit could not have come at a better time . We are still waiting on our LOA and we are now on day 62 since our LID. This line of waiting has been the most difficult yet. So this visit was a much needed break from stalking the computer of news. We are approaching our 6 month mark of first seeing our daughters face and I am ready to be done with this emotional roller coaster .

Ready to get her home where she belongs.

I will leave you with some photos of our beautiful Russian girls , Ariana and Ava. Lots of giggling went on during the past two days but I bet you can not tell by these photos!!!!

We love you guys's!!!!!

P.S. Ana you forgot Rockie!!!!!!!!

Sisters

2010-04-22T12:26:00.000-07:00

I love the innocence of a child. Ava will be three on her next birthday and has been through a lot in her very short life. Yet she possesses the ability to see things through a different looking glass.

When you ask her about her sister she will proudly show you a photo and tell you that it is Peyton. Her sister. Ava's looking glass does not allow her to see the physical differences that they each outwardly display. In fact, they are polar opposites in their physical appearance to the average Joe. But when you look at them closer they have so much in common. They even have started to take on physical similarities to me.

Despite the fact that the girls are clearly not biological sisters , I know that there is no doubt that they will be closer than any two could ever be. I already know this in my heart. They are sisters that share a common history , a similar life story. I think this common thread that links them could in fact create a bond that will never be broken. Maybe even link them together so closely that sharing the same DNA could not even touch this.

There is a bit of irony as I look at their "Bitty Twin" dolls .You see the obvious reflection of differences between the two girls "twin" baby dolls. But just like their dolls they are like twin sisters in every way that really counts.

Sweet Dreams

2010-04-21T10:04:00.000-07:00

Okay, another lesson learned! I am not a newbie at this and totally get that this journey is not on my timeline it is on his!

(Because if it was on my timeline I would already be home with my sweet girl!)

It seems I needed to be reminded of that yet again as I pass up day 55 since my LID! (Sigh)
But I have been blessed with dreams about her.With each pregnancy, paper or home grown, I had dreams about the kids. Some strange and some sweet. I just started dreaming about Pei so I know his timeline is getting shorter :)

In the meanwhile ,we received word that Pei got her care package last night. I am really hoping for some updates to help get us through this lull.
In the meantime, my mind is full of images of my beautiful little girl curled up in her bed tonight snuggling with a soft little bunny that smells of her big sister :) And a heart that hopes that her dreams are filled with sweet chocolate bunnies and knowledge that her forever family loves her so much.

Care Package #3!

2010-04-16T07:21:00.000-07:00

We sent our third and hopefully final care package to Pei this past week. This is the first package where I shopped and sent my own package via Ann @ Red Thread. I have to say it was really fun to shop for her but it snowballed into a monster! It started out as an Easter/Spring theme and grew from there! And of course we had to include a really soft bunny after hearing that Pei has a thing for bunnies! ( Sorry Pei ,Ava loved on your bunny a bit before she went into the box!)

There was not an inch left in that box for one more item! I know that Pei and her foster family will enjoy the sweet goodies that we sent!

We also sent a care package of PJ's , socks and books for the kiddos at the orphanage. Hopefully, all will enjoy their goodies !

I really hope this will be our last care package and the next bit of goodies will be delivered in person :)

Pei's second birthday is in July and I am praying that we are together before or on this date!

Now, Come on LOA! We are ready for some really good news!

We are the truth - Our Russian Adoption

2010-04-14T05:01:00.000-07:00

It seems that the media swarms around controversy. I often turn on the news to only hear the most disturbing events that have taken place around the world. As we all know in the adoption community , the headlines over the past week told of an adoptive mother placing her Russian son on a unescorted flight to Moscow . Her simple actions has sent ripples through the adoption world and has jeopardized future Russian orphans finding their forever families. This event has once again highlighted every negative event that has occurred between Russian adoptees and their American families. We have been asked today to tell our story . The true story about how wonderful international adoption can be.

Back in December of 2002, I entered the hospital for a scheduled induction. I was scared but excited to finally meet our son ,Jacob. After delivery things unexpectedly went in the wrong direction. I had to have an emergency hysterectomy and numerous blood transfusions. I really should not be here today. I never once struggled with not being able to have anymore children. I was just so thankful to be alive. As time went on I searched to make sense of why this had happened and why am I still here. God had a plan for me and I was so ready to know what it was.

Today, if you ask me what that plan was I can sum it up in two simple words: Ava and Peyton.

They are my daughters. My broken road in December of 2002 has lead me to two of the greatest blessings that I have ever received.

For every tragic adoption story there are countless successes. Where these children exceed every obstacle they have faced. Where they are treasured beyond measure by their adoptive parents.

When we traveled to Russia in July '08 to met our little girl, we had no idea how much our lives were going to change.I had no idea I was going to meet one of the greatest loves of my life on that day. Ava came to us with a long list of health issues. Some common and some not so common issues that a child living in an institution will have. Since being home with us for two years ,this approaching September, she has overcome obstacles that were stacked against her.I am amazed at her determination and strength in her accomplishments.She has taught us many life lessons at the mere age of two and continues to be a daily reminder of all that is good in our lives.
When we arrived home with Ava it reminded me of a cake walk.Everyone is looking for their place in the new family set up. When the music stops everyone scrambles for their seat. When it was all said and done everyone found their place . Funny thing is Ava's seat was right in the middle of all of our chairs.Daily she is encircled by a mom,dad brothers and countless extended family members. Each member of our family protects , loves and cherishes this child .

Things are as they should be.

Every child deserves the chance to have a life where they feel cherished,loved and wanted. My hope is that the horrific events that have occurred do not overshadow all of the good stories of wonderful families that have been created through Russian adoption.The real tragedy would be if these Russian children miss the opportunity to be part of a loving family . A family to call their own. That is the real tragedy in this.

The Word of the Day: PATIENCE

2010-04-08T05:22:00.000-07:00

Well, the sugery letter has been somewhat of a double edge sword!

My agency called to check to make sure that the letter was sufficient and the CC** said yes it was! In fact, they said we have official been approved and are moving from the review room to the matching room where the LOA's are issued! WAHOOO!!!!

So , I am over the moon until I feel the sting of the other side of the sword...

You can stay in the matching room for one month!!!!!!! OUCH!

So, here are a few words to live by brought to you by a waiting momma that is so ready to hold her baby:

"Patience is the greatest of all virtues."
Cato the Elder (234 BC - 149 BC)

"Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake."
Victor Hugo (1802 - 1885)

"I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end."
Margaret Thatcher (1925 - )

Unfortunately , I am stuck some where quoute two and three!!!!!

Have a great day!

~ Day 42 since LID!

Back On Track!

2010-04-05T07:09:00.000-07:00

Well , the CCAA finally has my letter in hand! What an ordeal but it is over and I am moving away from this monkey that has been on my back!

So, we are now in the month of April. It seems like time has been moving at a snails pace but hopefully it will be smooth (and swift) sailing from here! I am sending Peyton another care package and a few things for the kids at the orphanage.

I am off to finish my LOA paperwork! We are on day 39 since our LID!

Come on LOA's!!!!!!!

Hope everyone had a blessed Easter!

My day in bullet points

2010-03-30T15:33:00.000-07:00

Well my little bump in the road from last Thursday has grow to a full fledged road block. Basically, all I need is a simple letter stating that my hysterectomy back in '02 ,after giving birth to Jake, was due to childbirth complications. And that after seven years I have fully recovered!

Simple enough huh?

No .

I ordered the operation report and discharge papers from the hospital. They inform me this could take two weeks to retrieve from achieves.Ugh! The Doctor that preformed the surgery is no longer around.Ugh! So I called my newest Ob/Gyn and she has also left.Ugh!

At this point I am beginning to sweat.

I plead my case to someone in the Ob/Gyn office to put me with another doctor and please help me. They assure me they will call me back.

That was last Friday morning. By Friday afternoon they decided to leave early for manicures.

So, I will fast forward to today (Tuesday).

This is dedicated to everyone else that had a poopy day recently!Feel free to laugh I will some day ...but just not today.

My day in bullet points:

- Ava was running a low grade fever last night ,so I called back the Ob/Gyn office rather than pleading my case in person and I spoke to the office manager.

- She said they would have to call and let me know if they would be willing to do it.
(What the heck does that mean? Mind you, I just thought that I did not say it out loud)

Here is a condensed version of the conversation :

me: "But you are my Ob/Gyn."

the mean office manager: "Like I said, I will call you back"

me: "My daughter is living over there in China with no family.For a child with no family days seem like weeks,weeks seem like months and months seem like years."

the mean office manager : "Your DOB."

Oh yes, she did say that! What the heck happens to someone to harden their heart to that degree? Heartless.

- I was so upset which = lots of crying

- Took a moment to wish the same nail fungus on her as I had wished upon the ladies from last week! (Not really but really thought about it :)

- Phone rang and it was the hospital with my records ready for pick up!

- God must had taken pity on me! (At this point I am glad I really did not wish the wrath of the nail fungus!)

- I loaded that sick baby in the car and drove around the city and back

- Read the operation /discharge report and balled some more.

(Note to self :self pity is the worst quality a person can possess but I was on a role and was just going to go with it)

- Called my General Practitioner from the car they said bring it they would read the report and write my note :)

- They said give him 24 hours and it will be done!:)

- Now, I am praying that my agency coordinator is not out of town!

- My eyes are swollen shut and I cannot see out of my contacts because of the mascara that ran into my eyes or just maybe I have gone blind

I am ready for bed so I can put this day behind me !!!!!

By the way the heartless office manager ...never called me back .
(so I am rethinking the nail fungus thing ... again!)

And then I remind myself how the last few days came into play . Beyond all of the frustration and tears it is all worth it. All of this because I am a momma of a sweet little girl in China that I have never met or held but love beyond measure.

A small bump in the road

2010-03-26T04:30:00.000-07:00

I would not call it a road block but I am going to just refer to it as a small bump on this journey to our little girl. We received an email last night from our agency. There is truly something about exciting about seeing something come from them! But unfortunately this was not one of those emails. There was a mix of good news and bad news. I always like to hear the good news first so here it is.

Good News: Well, basically our dossier is in the process of being reviewed :)WAHOO!!

Bad News : But the CC** needs a note from my doctor about my emergency hysterectomy that I had after giving birth to Jake :( They just want confirmation about why I had to have it done.

Well that email was not something that you want to read right before going to bed!And let me just say definitely NOT conducive to a goodnight rest . So, here I sit @ 5:00 a.m. up and ready to call my doctor. But can you believe that they do not open til 8:30!

I read something really profound and true yesterday on this blog

http://http//cornbreadandchopsticks.blogspot.com/

"If God brings you to it , He will see you through it"

So, these are the words that I am going to lean on today!

Well, I will end with some photos of my Texas cowboy and cowgirl. Jake had a Texas open house last night at school . I snapped these photos of brother and sister before we left. Look at the love in her eyes for cowboy Jake! He pretty much has this little cowgirl wrapped around his finger but I have to say the feeling is mutual!

Every cowboy has a sidekick . Well, in just a few more months Jake will have two little sidekicks chasing him around!

And I can not wait!

You know it is Monday when...

2010-03-22T07:17:00.000-07:00

You turn your back for two seconds and your daughter looks like she has been to a tattoo parlor! Thank the lord she did not select a sharpie for her tattoo applicator! But really a mustache ...this is the hazards of living in a household mainly comprised of testosterone!

Hurry up Peyton we need you to help even out the hormone levels!!!!!!
Just a guess ...but I believe this is going to be a LONG day!

~Day 25 and counting since our LID!

Spring Break!!!

2010-03-16T10:03:00.000-07:00

We decided to do our annual spring break pictures in the neighborhood this year. The Texas bluebonnets need just a little bit more time because of the late snow.They are predicted to be great this year because of the wet winter .So, I figure they will be perfect just in time for my little Russian visitors!! Michelle and Ana are coming to visit in April . I expect to be picking up Ondrea and Meg at the airport too!!!!! (So book your tickets O!)We will plan our bluebonnet photo session with three Russian beauties this year!
So, I squeezed Ava in her Russian dress for what maybe the last time and headed to the lake. I have to say getting all to cooperate can be difficult. I can only imagine what next year will be like with Peyton in the mix! I can not wait!

We are at day 19 since our LID and counting!!!!

I Love Springtime in Texas!!!!!!!

2010-03-12T15:12:00.000-08:00

Need I say more!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have a great weekend!

More Fluff!

2010-03-10T14:34:00.000-08:00

~This is for all you dog lovers out there. Warning get a Kleenex!

This is one of the kindest things you may ever see..

It is not known who replied, but there is a beautiful soul working in the dead letter office of the US postal service.

Our 14 year old dog, Abbey, died last month. The day after she died, my 4 year old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey.. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her. I told her that I thought we could so she dictated these words:

Dear God,
Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick.
I hope you will play with her.. She likes to play with balls and to swim. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her You will know that she is my dog. I really miss her.
Love, Meredith

We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it.. Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had.

Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, 'To Meredith' in an unfamiliar hand. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, 'When a Pet Dies..' Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey &Meredith and this note:

Dear Meredith,
Abbey arrived safely in heaven.
Having the picture was a big help. I recognized Abbey right away.
Abbey isn't sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don't need our bodies in heaven, I don't have any pockets to keep your picture in, so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by..
Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you.
I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much.
By the way, I'm easy to find, I am wherever there is love.

Love,
God

~Now I am going to go kiss my dog even though he has eaten at least a box of crayons this week ... among many other things!:)

Fantasy vs.Reality

2010-03-10T11:39:00.000-08:00

We all have our favorite blogs we love to follow. Maybe you choose them based on a common special need that your children share. Or maybe you choose them because they are feel good and fluffy. What ever reason that is the beauty of being able to make a choice!

I personally like both fluff and truth!

As I read this particular blog post today all I could think of was where was this post before I left for Russia! There are so many feelings and emotions that you feel at some point in this process. We spend months or even years preparing to make this child part of our lives. Often creating this fantasy or romantic notion of what it will be like when you first meet. And how blissful it will be like when you arrive home.
But reality is as magical as that first glance may or may not be for us it just might not be that way for your beautiful bundle of joy for quite some time. Some of us have a wonderful experience in country. That was us ! Ava gladly took to us and never looked back! We experienced the "honeymoon phase" while there. But nothing could have prepared me for the reality that the next few weeks would bring.

I am preparing myself for a different experience with Peyton. She is older than Ava was at the time and is attached to her foster family. Based on these factors alone , I am not expecting anything that resembles a honeymoon.

Well, I am posting a link to her blog here. Be sure to read all three posts: The Beginning, The Middle and The End /Beginning .There is no sugar here just her laying it all out !

http://keirajoy07.blogspot.com/

So, when you get through reading , leave Christie an encouraging word . I love the fact that the adoption community has the power to encourage and help one another through this journey to our children!

Retail Therapy : Session #1!

2010-03-07T17:16:00.000-08:00

As promised a little retail therapy! This was the best prescription that I have ever had!
There is something said for leaving "old negative Nelly" behind and heading to the stores!I have really had fun shopping for the girls.I even have bought a couple of matching outfits!I have to say I have been pretty thrifty! I purchase all of the items for $55.00! Now, my next wave of clothes are coming from beautiful Meg's closet (http://ephesiansonefive.blogspot.com/).

Poor Daddy ...two girls is going to be tough :)

I also went today and got Peyton some goodies to send for a Easter /Spring care package.I am going to send this through Ann @ Red Thread.

I love that Peyton has a thing for bunnies ! It sure was easy shopping for her with all of the Easter stuff out!

We are on day 10 since our LID ...But who is counting!!!!!

Half Way There?

2010-03-03T10:46:00.000-08:00

The LID excitement has faded and the realization has set in! We are only halfway through this journey to our Peyton!!!!! Now, do not get me wrong ,I am so grateful that we have received our LID but I have to be honest this wait is starting to get to me! Okay brace yourself here is my "Negative Nellie' moment. And yeah we all have them!

Do I have at least one million things that I should or could be doing...Yes!

But I feel like I have been running a marathon for almost four months (with a computer hooked to my back) and I have just passed a sign that reads just four to six months left to go! UGHHH!

Does anyone else feel like this? (Nikki you do not have to answer this I know your answer!)

Oh how I just wish that we received periodic updates on our children. That would be the best "fuel" to get you through these long waits! Okay, so enough of my complaining I am going to gladly get back in line and zip my lip!(Well, maybe not for Bret or Nikki...sorry guy's!)

Well, I will share a little Ava report. One of our goals was to have Ava in a toddler bed before Peyton arrived home. So, she was so excited to make this move towards her big girl status.Although she has been spotted making a midnight run to the toy box!We have also entered the negotiating phase of potty training. I have not pressed this issue much. In between our trips to pick up Ava we left a disposable camera for the orphanage to take photos. What a treasure that was to develop those pictures and get a small glimpse of her life before us. One of the photos was her having potty time. Mind you this child could not walk but was placed on a potty .I can not help but wonder who was their to catch her if she fell . When I look at this photo it serves as a "window" for me of what every day of an orphans life must be like. As much as it breaks my heart to look at this photo it is reality for so many children.Looking at this just makes me so thankful that God appointed me the honor of being the one to always catch her.What a true honor that is.
So, needless to say she will let me know when she is ready.

Well, I will leave you with a photo of the waiting big sister showing off her new big girl bed ! As you can see she has a blanket addiction! Check out the shiner. What can I say she is on the go. I hope Peyton can keep up with sister ...she has a lot of lost time to make up for!

So keep on praying for speedy news on the adoption front for all...Let's get all these babies home!

Journey To Our Empress Ladybug

New Beginnings = New Blog !

Maybe

Snakes and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails...

That's what boys are made of.With dirt on his nose,and scrapes on his knees,the throwing or rocks,and the climbing of trees,with pockets of frogs,and jars full of bugsmakes a sweet little boyfull of kisses and hugs!

Thankful

Idea for Orphan Sunday

Jennie singing Mama Hoa

So long terrible two's and three's!

Look out Sports Illustrated!

Happy Birthday Nick!

Forget Me Not Friday!

Letting go

Welcome to our new hangout!

Forget Me Not Friday!

Forget Me Not Friday!

"Forget Me Not" Friday!

Easter!

Does the Easter bunny bite?

The boy from baby house #10

What's been going on???????

Introducing ..

My Family Found Me!!!!!!!

Anton Update :)

A little of this and a little of that!

Can you help??????

Look who is the latest Reese's Rainbow Angel !!!!

The sweetest bundle of blue!

Journey to our Empress Ladybug at OneTrueMedia.com

The Conspicuous Family

Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas!

Robert at New Day needs your help!

Help Needed!!!

Pei's Momma

Three months home

BOO !!!!!!!!

Windows to the soul

A little of this and a little of that!

Monkey see , Monkey do!

1 month home !

Treasures from China

Straight from the trenches of motherhood!

Home

Leaving on a jet plane!

The sun is beginning to shine!

Turning a corner

One step forward ,two steps back

Half way there!

Goodbye

The New Norm

Gotcha Day!

We are here in Nanning....FINALLY!

We are here.....sort of!

Go !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Set....

Ready...

Happy Birthday to both my girls!!!!!!!!

Saturday Surprise!

Breathtaking!

That little bird was right!

A little birdie told me ...

The Day We Met

Is it July Already!?!?

Article 5!

Calling all July forever families!

Moving right along!

Journey to our Empress Ladybug at OneTrueMedia.com

Guess what ...

Check out this giveaway!

Reservations Anyone?

Home

The count down begins!!!!!!

I have been waiting to say this ...

Sugar and Spice

Sisters

Sweet Dreams

Care Package #3!

We are the truth - Our Russian Adoption

The Word of the Day: PATIENCE

That's what boys are made of.
With dirt on his nose,
and scrapes on his knees,
the throwing or rocks,
and the climbing of trees,
with pockets of frogs,
and jars full of bugs
makes a sweet little boy
full of kisses and hugs!