As an adoptive parent you are subject to a mix of praise and criticism. We were no stranger to the world of adoption . Having already traveled to Russia and adopting Ava we felt more prepared this time around. We were more knowledgeable about attachment and were well versed on the grieving process. But all the while knowing we still had a lot to learn and would take cues from Pei about what course to follow.
But one thing that I was not prepared for ...being the conspicuous family. With Ava's adoption we became the "blended" family. No one ever questioned if she was adopted. Not one time. People were shocked if you shared our story of adoption. I never one time was greeted with one negative comment or a disapproving look.
So, what is different now?
Well, the obvious difference is we stand out. When we travel as a group to a store we draw attention. Maybe it is the vast age difference in my kiddos. My children span from 16 years to 2 years.
Could it be that?
Maybe it is the sheer numbers of ducklings that are following on my heels calling out "Mom".
Maybe it is that.
But there is one more thing that crosses my mind.
Could it be that one of our family members look vastly different than the rest?
We are the conspicuous family. There is no doubt that our family was created through adoption. Anyone who knows me knows that this has become my passion.I will gladly share with anyone what an incredible blessing adoption has brought to our lives. But the conversation with Ava was at my discretion. Now , you are wide open for a mix of disapproving stares and comments.
Topping the list of negative comments was "How could you love someone else's child?". That one caught me of guard completely. I think I am still in a state of shock over that one.
I would really hate to think we still live in a place were prejudice still exists. But reality is we do.
So, I can not help but wonder if that is the driving force behind some of this new found "fame". But just when you think the world is completely plague by the ignorance that fuels prejudice something profound happens.We attended a birthday party a few weeks ago. Pei and Ava love to dress alike. So, on this day they were matching head to toe! The girls and I sat down at the tables to have some cake. I noticed the little girl sitting across from us studying Ava and then Pei. She stared for quite some time. Then she looked at me with a very serious face and said "Are they Twins?". Now that tops the list of the comments/questions category. We could all learn a great deal from the innocent,untainted eyes of kids.
The momma in me will hang on to the hope that the people that are stopped dead in their tracks and engaged in a trance are just memorized.
Memorized by the sheer beauty of a sweet little girl who happens to be from the far east .
Whose beautiful brown eyes can tell a story without her uttering a single word.
A little girl who possesses the ability to look beyond the differences and accept us as her own .
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