We are the truth - Our Russian Adoption

It seems that the media swarms around controversy. I often turn on the news to only hear the most disturbing events that have taken place around the world. As we all know in the adoption community , the headlines over the past week told of an adoptive mother placing her Russian son on a unescorted flight to Moscow . Her simple actions has sent ripples through the adoption world and has jeopardized future Russian orphans finding their forever families. This event has once again highlighted every negative event that has occurred between Russian adoptees and their American families. We have been asked today to tell our story . The true story about how wonderful international adoption can be.

Back in December of 2002, I entered the hospital for a scheduled induction. I was scared but excited to finally meet our son ,Jacob. After delivery things unexpectedly went in the wrong direction. I had to have an emergency hysterectomy and numerous blood transfusions. I really should not be here today. I never once struggled with not being able to have anymore children. I was just so thankful to be alive. As time went on I searched to make sense of why this had happened and why am I still here. God had a plan for me and I was so ready to know what it was.

Today, if you ask me what that plan was I can sum it up in two simple words: Ava and Peyton.

They are my daughters. My broken road in December of 2002 has lead me to two of the greatest blessings that I have ever received.

For every tragic adoption story there are countless successes. Where these children exceed every obstacle they have faced. Where they are treasured beyond measure by their adoptive parents.

When we traveled to Russia in July '08 to met our little girl, we had no idea how much our lives were going to change.I had no idea I was going to meet one of the greatest loves of my life on that day. Ava came to us with a long list of health issues. Some common and some not so common issues that a child living in an institution will have. Since being home with us for two years ,this approaching September, she has overcome obstacles that were stacked against her.I am amazed at her determination and strength in her accomplishments.She has taught us many life lessons at the mere age of two and continues to be a daily reminder of all that is good in our lives.
When we arrived home with Ava it reminded me of a cake walk.Everyone is looking for their place in the new family set up. When the music stops everyone scrambles for their seat. When it was all said and done everyone found their place . Funny thing is Ava's seat was right in the middle of all of our chairs.Daily she is encircled by a mom,dad brothers and countless extended family members. Each member of our family protects , loves and cherishes this child .

Things are as they should be.

Every child deserves the chance to have a life where they feel cherished,loved and wanted. My hope is that the horrific events that have occurred do not overshadow all of the good stories of wonderful families that have been created through Russian adoption.The real tragedy would be if these Russian children miss the opportunity to be part of a loving family . A family to call their own. That is the real tragedy in this.

The Word of the Day: PATIENCE

Well, the sugery letter has been somewhat of a double edge sword!

My agency called to check to make sure that the letter was sufficient and the CC** said yes it was! In fact, they said we have official been approved and are moving from the review room to the matching room where the LOA's are issued! WAHOOO!!!!

So , I am over the moon until I feel the sting of the other side of the sword...

You can stay in the matching room for one month!!!!!!! OUCH!

So, here are a few words to live by brought to you by a waiting momma that is so ready to hold her baby:

"Patience is the greatest of all virtues."
Cato the Elder (234 BC - 149 BC)

"Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake."
Victor Hugo (1802 - 1885)

"I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end."
Margaret Thatcher (1925 - )

Unfortunately , I am stuck some where quoute two and three!!!!!

Have a great day!

~ Day 42 since LID!

Back On Track!

Well , the CCAA finally has my letter in hand! What an ordeal but it is over and I am moving away from this monkey that has been on my back!

So, we are now in the month of April. It seems like time has been moving at a snails pace but hopefully it will be smooth (and swift) sailing from here! I am sending Peyton another care package and a few things for the kids at the orphanage.

I am off to finish my LOA paperwork! We are on day 39 since our LID!

Come on LOA's!!!!!!!

Hope everyone had a blessed Easter!

My day in bullet points

Well my little bump in the road from last Thursday has grow to a full fledged road block. Basically, all I need is a simple letter stating that my hysterectomy back in '02 ,after giving birth to Jake, was due to childbirth complications. And that after seven years I have fully recovered!

Simple enough huh?

No .

I ordered the operation report and discharge papers from the hospital. They inform me this could take two weeks to retrieve from achieves.Ugh! The Doctor that preformed the surgery is no longer around.Ugh! So I called my newest Ob/Gyn and she has also left.Ugh!

At this point I am beginning to sweat.

I plead my case to someone in the Ob/Gyn office to put me with another doctor and please help me. They assure me they will call me back.

That was last Friday morning. By Friday afternoon they decided to leave early for manicures.

So, I will fast forward to today (Tuesday).

This is dedicated to everyone else that had a poopy day recently!Feel free to laugh I will some day ...but just not today.

My day in bullet points:

- Ava was running a low grade fever last night ,so I called back the Ob/Gyn office rather than pleading my case in person and I spoke to the office manager.

- She said they would have to call and let me know if they would be willing to do it.
(What the heck does that mean? Mind you, I just thought that I did not say it out loud)

Here is a condensed version of the conversation :

me: "But you are my Ob/Gyn."

the mean office manager: "Like I said, I will call you back"

me: "My daughter is living over there in China with no family.For a child with no family days seem like weeks,weeks seem like months and months seem like years."

the mean office manager : "Your DOB."

Oh yes, she did say that! What the heck happens to someone to harden their heart to that degree? Heartless.

- I was so upset which = lots of crying

- Took a moment to wish the same nail fungus on her as I had wished upon the ladies from last week! (Not really but really thought about it :)

- Phone rang and it was the hospital with my records ready for pick up!

- God must had taken pity on me! (At this point I am glad I really did not wish the wrath of the nail fungus!)

- I loaded that sick baby in the car and drove around the city and back

- Read the operation /discharge report and balled some more.

(Note to self :self pity is the worst quality a person can possess but I was on a role and was just going to go with it)

- Called my General Practitioner from the car they said bring it they would read the report and write my note :)

- They said give him 24 hours and it will be done!:)

- Now, I am praying that my agency coordinator is not out of town!

- My eyes are swollen shut and I cannot see out of my contacts because of the mascara that ran into my eyes or just maybe I have gone blind

I am ready for bed so I can put this day behind me !!!!!

By the way the heartless office manager ...never called me back .
(so I am rethinking the nail fungus thing ... again!)

And then I remind myself how the last few days came into play . Beyond all of the frustration and tears it is all worth it. All of this because I am a momma of a sweet little girl in China that I have never met or held but love beyond measure.

A small bump in the road

I would not call it a road block but I am going to just refer to it as a small bump on this journey to our little girl. We received an email last night from our agency. There is truly something about exciting about seeing something come from them! But unfortunately this was not one of those emails. There was a mix of good news and bad news. I always like to hear the good news first so here it is.

Good News: Well, basically our dossier is in the process of being reviewed :)WAHOO!!

Bad News : But the CC** needs a note from my doctor about my emergency hysterectomy that I had after giving birth to Jake :( They just want confirmation about why I had to have it done.

Well that email was not something that you want to read right before going to bed!And let me just say definitely NOT conducive to a goodnight rest . So, here I sit @ 5:00 a.m. up and ready to call my doctor. But can you believe that they do not open til 8:30!

I read something really profound and true yesterday on this blog

http://http//cornbreadandchopsticks.blogspot.com/


"If God brings you to it , He will see you through it"



So, these are the words that I am going to lean on today!

Well, I will end with some photos of my Texas cowboy and cowgirl. Jake had a Texas open house last night at school . I snapped these photos of brother and sister before we left. Look at the love in her eyes for cowboy Jake! He pretty much has this little cowgirl wrapped around his finger but I have to say the feeling is mutual!

Every cowboy has a sidekick . Well, in just a few more months Jake will have two little sidekicks chasing him around!

And I can not wait!

You know it is Monday when...

You turn your back for two seconds and your daughter looks like she has been to a tattoo parlor! Thank the lord she did not select a sharpie for her tattoo applicator! But really a mustache ...this is the hazards of living in a household mainly comprised of testosterone!

Hurry up Peyton we need you to help even out the hormone levels!!!!!!
Just a guess ...but I believe this is going to be a LONG day!

~Day 25 and counting since our LID!

Spring Break!!!

We decided to do our annual spring break pictures in the neighborhood this year. The Texas bluebonnets need just a little bit more time because of the late snow.They are predicted to be great this year because of the wet winter .So, I figure they will be perfect just in time for my little Russian visitors!! Michelle and Ana are coming to visit in April . I expect to be picking up Ondrea and Meg at the airport too!!!!! (So book your tickets O!)We will plan our bluebonnet photo session with three Russian beauties this year!
So, I squeezed Ava in her Russian dress for what maybe the last time and headed to the lake. I have to say getting all to cooperate can be difficult. I can only imagine what next year will be like with Peyton in the mix! I can not wait!

We are at day 19 since our LID and counting!!!!

I Love Springtime in Texas!!!!!!!

Need I say more!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have a great weekend!

More Fluff!

~This is for all you dog lovers out there. Warning get a Kleenex!

This is one of the kindest things you may ever see..

It is not known who replied, but there is a beautiful soul working in the dead letter office of the US postal service.




Our 14 year old dog, Abbey, died last month. The day after she died, my 4 year old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey.. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her. I told her that I thought we could so she dictated these words:

Dear God,
Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick.
I hope you will play with her.. She likes to play with balls and to swim. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her You will know that she is my dog. I really miss her.
Love, Meredith

We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it.. Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had.

Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, 'To Meredith' in an unfamiliar hand. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, 'When a Pet Dies..' Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey &Meredith and this note:


Dear Meredith,
Abbey arrived safely in heaven.
Having the picture was a big help. I recognized Abbey right away.
Abbey isn't sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don't need our bodies in heaven, I don't have any pockets to keep your picture in, so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by..
Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you.
I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much.
By the way, I'm easy to find, I am wherever there is love.

Love,
God


~Now I am going to go kiss my dog even though he has eaten at least a box of crayons this week ... among many other things!:)

Fantasy vs.Reality

We all have our favorite blogs we love to follow. Maybe you choose them based on a common special need that your children share. Or maybe you choose them because they are feel good and fluffy. What ever reason that is the beauty of being able to make a choice!

I personally like both fluff and truth!

As I read this particular blog post today all I could think of was where was this post before I left for Russia! There are so many feelings and emotions that you feel at some point in this process. We spend months or even years preparing to make this child part of our lives. Often creating this fantasy or romantic notion of what it will be like when you first meet. And how blissful it will be like when you arrive home.
But reality is as magical as that first glance may or may not be for us it just might not be that way for your beautiful bundle of joy for quite some time. Some of us have a wonderful experience in country. That was us ! Ava gladly took to us and never looked back! We experienced the "honeymoon phase" while there. But nothing could have prepared me for the reality that the next few weeks would bring.

I am preparing myself for a different experience with Peyton. She is older than Ava was at the time and is attached to her foster family. Based on these factors alone , I am not expecting anything that resembles a honeymoon.

Well, I am posting a link to her blog here. Be sure to read all three posts: The Beginning, The Middle and The End /Beginning .There is no sugar here just her laying it all out !

http://keirajoy07.blogspot.com/

So, when you get through reading , leave Christie an encouraging word . I love the fact that the adoption community has the power to encourage and help one another through this journey to our children!

Retail Therapy : Session #1!

As promised a little retail therapy! This was the best prescription that I have ever had!
There is something said for leaving "old negative Nelly" behind and heading to the stores!I have really had fun shopping for the girls.I even have bought a couple of matching outfits!I have to say I have been pretty thrifty! I purchase all of the items for $55.00! Now, my next wave of clothes are coming from beautiful Meg's closet (http://ephesiansonefive.blogspot.com/).

Poor Daddy ...two girls is going to be tough :)

I also went today and got Peyton some goodies to send for a Easter /Spring care package.I am going to send this through Ann @ Red Thread.

I love that Peyton has a thing for bunnies ! It sure was easy shopping for her with all of the Easter stuff out!

We are on day 10 since our LID ...But who is counting!!!!!

Half Way There?

The LID excitement has faded and the realization has set in! We are only halfway through this journey to our Peyton!!!!! Now, do not get me wrong ,I am so grateful that we have received our LID but I have to be honest this wait is starting to get to me! Okay brace yourself here is my "Negative Nellie' moment. And yeah we all have them!

Do I have at least one million things that I should or could be doing...Yes!

But I feel like I have been running a marathon for almost four months (with a computer hooked to my back) and I have just passed a sign that reads just four to six months left to go! UGHHH!

Does anyone else feel like this? (Nikki you do not have to answer this I know your answer!)

Oh how I just wish that we received periodic updates on our children. That would be the best "fuel" to get you through these long waits! Okay, so enough of my complaining I am going to gladly get back in line and zip my lip!(Well, maybe not for Bret or Nikki...sorry guy's!)




Well, I will share a little Ava report. One of our goals was to have Ava in a toddler bed before Peyton arrived home. So, she was so excited to make this move towards her big girl status.Although she has been spotted making a midnight run to the toy box!We have also entered the negotiating phase of potty training. I have not pressed this issue much. In between our trips to pick up Ava we left a disposable camera for the orphanage to take photos. What a treasure that was to develop those pictures and get a small glimpse of her life before us. One of the photos was her having potty time. Mind you this child could not walk but was placed on a potty .I can not help but wonder who was their to catch her if she fell . When I look at this photo it serves as a "window" for me of what every day of an orphans life must be like. As much as it breaks my heart to look at this photo it is reality for so many children.Looking at this just makes me so thankful that God appointed me the honor of being the one to always catch her.What a true honor that is.
So, needless to say she will let me know when she is ready.

Well, I will leave you with a photo of the waiting big sister showing off her new big girl bed ! As you can see she has a blanket addiction! Check out the shiner. What can I say she is on the go. I hope Peyton can keep up with sister ...she has a lot of lost time to make up for!

So keep on praying for speedy news on the adoption front for all...Let's get all these babies home!

Guess What ...

We are so excited to announce that we received our LID (log in date) last night! This means that our dossier has been logged in with the CCAA as of 2/26.

So, now we move out of this line ...and basically get in another!!!!!

The next line is the longest stretch yet as we wait for our LOA. So as we wait there is nothing else for a mommy missing her girl to do but....RETAIL THERAPY!
I recommend this form of therapy for all of you that are waiting ! But here is a little disclosure: Just do not tell your husbands that it was my suggestion!

By the way, I love the travel poll votes! Keep them coming...June works for me!

While we wait!!

Well, I have to be honest...I have never been so glad to see a week over in my life!!! With the CCAA off for CNY this week you know that your paperwork has been gathering dust all week.
As a waiting mommy that just really stinks!!!
The office is supposed to be up and running this weekend so I am praying that they will make up for lost time and we will receive our Log in date for our dossier.
And then the wait really begins!
I have to say that the Chinese IA program seems much more efficient than the Russian program.We had a wonderful agency in and out of country for Ava's adoption.It was unpredictable from the stand point of the government officials in the different regions.
So, it looks like it could be as late as July or August before we travel! UGHHHHHH!
If it is after mid- July we will miss Peyton's second birthday. I had really hope that we would have her in our arms before then!
So, while we wait I am trying to keep busy and focus on more optimistic travel dates! It is not like I do not have a thousand things that I COULD be doing. My house does NOT need any: cleaning ,dusting,organizing,de-cluttering,vacuuming ,clothes folding or maybe just a small stick of dynamite!
So, we ditched the duster and dynamite for a lunch date with Nikki(http://www.ladybugmakes4.blogspot.com/ )and her Ms. Ava. After months of corresponding via email/phone we finally met face to face.It is really great to have a wonderful support system during the wait! And my Ava loved the girls which is great because you can never have too many sets of arms on that long flight to China!

The other focus this week is little Sammy . I have been racking my brains out trying to think of ways to raise some money for this sweet little guy.Yes, I too smell cobwebs burning!But I have come up with something but I might need some help! So, I will be placing details and a blog button for his fundraiser soon!He is so smart and sweet .God has place his need for a family right in the middle of my heart! God has great plans for this little guy ! I just know it!

I have added a poll for fun so go over and give us your thoughts on when we will travel!
Have a great weekend!

Happy Chinese New Year!!!

I can not think of a better way to begin the Chinese New Year than to receive a letter from China about our girl!
When we sent Peyton's care package through Ann @ Red Thread we set a self- addressed envelope in the package. I thought it is only $2.50 and I really seriously doubted that anyone would use it but we sent it anyway. So when I went to the mailbox today and looked down and saw that envelope I tore into it only to realize ...I CAN NOT READ CHINESE!!!!!!
For the next 4 .5 hours we worked on translating the letter with no luck!
When in doubt go to your fellow PAP's ! So, we had many volunteers but sweet Beth had a exchange student that graciously translated it for us!
Thank you so much!
So we learned some great stuff about our sweet girl!

~ Pei sleeps in a baby bed! (Funny thing is that we had spent the day out shopping for the girls two toddler beds!)
~She loves toys that play music (This is Ava's favorite too!)
~She loves beautiful clothes! (Poor Dad!)
~She loves to play with her friends that are her own age. She does not like to play with old people( Thank you for getting me back to the gym Kristine!)
~She likes her toy rabbit( I hope they bring this with her)
~She sucks on a pacifier! (Ava sucks her thumb and likes to share it:)As you can tell Tex is fond of the pacifier too!!!!
~She likes fruits,milk and vegetables! ( Ava does does too! Sorry boys, looks like broccoli will stay on our weekly menu!)
~ If she wants to Pee Pee she does not tell you but she will wave her hands and wiggle her bottom! (Too Cute!)
~In the winter she uses a diaper? (What? This one has me a bit puzzled . What happens in the summertime? Split pants?)

What a wonderful surprise this letter was. It is amazing that such a small gesture can bring such joy to a waiting mama's heart!
Now , come on LID I am WAY ready to get my baby home!

Another Fabulous Friday!!!!

We are DTC today!
I now feel free from that "Paper Monkey " that has been on my back!We now get in line and wait for the next phase of the process.

Praying for a speedy LID!
Hang on little ladybug ...Mama and Baba are getting closer!!!!!!

Hang on Tight!

see more dog and puppy pictures


If only my Fedex guy was this cute!

Well , our dossier will be on its first leg of it's longest journey yet!How stressful to let go of months and months of paperwork. I rechecked our agencies check list no less than a million times. As nerve racking as it was to let go I am so ready to move on to the next phase of this process!Each phase means we are closer to getting our sweet girl.

Hang on tight little papers , safe travels, and by the way... Gun it Mr. Fedex!

Fabulous Friday!

What a way to start the day! We received a little photo from Ann (Red Thread) this morning of our Peyton!
So sweet!
Well, we went to the Chinese Consulate this morning to get our documents authenticated.We will pick them up next week and be DTC by Friday!
I will leave you with my little Russian beauty holding our priceless documents!Ava is a really cheap model. A glass of strawberry milk , a new picture of sister and she is all smiles!
What a ham!

Small Sacrifices

No matter what goes on in our little world ,good or bad, we have an amazing dose of perspective just outside our front window. This dose of perspective comes from an unlikely source, a nine year old boy. Our neighbor and Jake's good friend , Ben. Ben was diagnosed with cancer in '08. Since then he has under gone numerous chemotherapy treatments,surgeries and a leg amputation.Despite all that he has endured he is still the same silly, sweet, beautiful boy that we met just two years ago.He is an amazing young man that possesses strength and will that just is inspiring!
By the way, Ava is in L O V E with her Ben Ben!So back off girls ...he is spoken for!
So as he is entering yet another round of those nasty drugs his beautiful locks must go.It is a small debt to pay. So he went in and had his head shaved. That evening at dinner we were discussing how some people show support to their friends by shaving their head as well.Well Jake said sign me up!
Funny thing is that now Jake's hair is shorter than Ben's!!! The boy's really laughed about that!
I am just amazed that Jake at a mere 7 years old gets it. I am so proud of him. It is such a simple sacrifice to make but you should have seen the look on Ben's face...Priceless.
Please include Ben and his family in your prayers as he enters the next phase of his clinical trial on Monday.

Good Deed Paid in Full !!!!!

You read it right! I am so excited ! We received our fingerprinting appointment in the mail yesterday and had a conflict with the time and date! So we crossed our fingers and prayed really hard that they would have mercy on us and take us early.
So this morning we were off to the immigration office.The lady at the front desk was super nice and said "no problem".We were in and out in less than 15 minutes!
So when I got home I called my officer and told her that we had already been fingerprinted .She said great.I asked her if there was a way to get that approval emailed to make my deadline.Granted ,I am always the person who is afraid to ask someone for something!So I really stepped out of my comfort zone.
And that was it! I am holding a copy of my approval in my hand!
I am in complete shock!
Nothing has gone this easy ...EVER!
All I can think is that God blessed me this morning because of the good doggy deed I did .
Yes, that was me running around in and out of traffic at a busy intersection ,chasing a little white dog in a pair of heels! No one stopped to render assistance to this poor little guy,so I had no choice. So I get out of the car with my folder marked USCIS,a bag of animal crackers and begin directing him to safety. This little guy had another agenda and that was to get the dead ,dehydrated,stinky squirrel that was not so fortunate a few days earlier! YUCK!
So, here I am chasing the dog with my folder waving in the air.Well, he thought I was a crazy lady after his squirrel and ran like heck to get away!I guess I did look kind of scary!
But he was safe!
So, to sum it up it was a great day for all ...except the squirrel!

So, there are two morals to this story:
1.No good deed goes unnoticed!
2.Do not be afraid to ask!

Little "Pill" Update!

My little pill is not so bad after all!!!!!

Care Package to our Ladybug!

We ordered our second care package for Peyton. This time we used Ann @ Red Threads http://www.redthreadchina.com/care-packages.html .She did a fantastic job putting this together! We hope she enjoys getting acquainted with all of our faces via the photo album. We included everyone in our family even her four legged furry brothers! I hope she enjoys her goodies!

So we are still awaiting word about our finger printing appointment.After we receive our immigration approval than it is off to Austin for the apostille and then to Houston for the authentication through the Chinese consulate. Then our Dossier is on it's way to China!

Step by step we are getting closer to our little ladybug!

Waiting...

This is one of the worst parts of the international adoption process! I have had so many people email and ask:

"Is she home yet?"

"When do you travel?"

"How can you wait that long?"

If you have never been part of the IA process then it does seem like it should be really simple and FAST! Right?

WRONG!

You scramble to gather paperwork at lightening speed and then you wait. Only to do it all over again! This has proven to be quite a challenge for me. So, I am wanting to hit the fast forward button and not let go till I get Peyton in my arms.

But I have to remind myself that this time waiting is special.

I know you all are saying "WHAT?"! Has she gone crazy?

But hear me out! I mean "Special" in a starry - eyed, I'm in love, butterflies in my tummy yet agonizing kind of way...does that make since?

So, as I stalk the USCIS customer service number and as long as the mailman does not put a restraining order on me I will keep repeating to myself:
"Good things come to those who wait"

Right?

Now, I am off to the mail box!!!!!

Our Little Drop

"We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop."
Mother Teresa


With the new year comes the usual new year resolutions.Gym memberships are up,weight loss commercials are dominating the TV and everyone is excited about the promise that the new year will bring! We are very excited about 2010 because we have such a special year ahead with the addition of Ben Pei to our family!
I am planning on setting some small personal goals to achieve before Peyton comes home.These include some drapery projects and finishing up on some '09 goals carried over from last year.I look back on '08&'09's "carry overs" and say well I accomplished the #1 goal ...attaching with Ava.This was by far the most important goal I have set yet!

As a family we are trying something a little different this year. We have set a family goal for the year 2010.Just our little drop in the ocean. We have chosen the sweetest little boy to set up an adoption fund for.When we were waiting to be matched with our sweet girl ,we saw lots of little faces on different agencies lists. One little boy really stood out in this endless list of children waiting on their forever family. He is a special needs child from China born with a limb difference.When I first saw his photo I was captivated by how sad and lost he looked. There was something about him that reminded me of our Ava.I think it was that blank and expressionless photo that I first saw.
Just this past week I was catching up on some of my favorite blogs and I was stopped dead in my tracks! I saw a photo of the most precious and happy little boy .
"Could this be the same little boy?" It was him but that sad little face was replaced by the most beautiful smile.You see he is being sponsored by a wonderful organization and it has made all the difference in the world.

Despite that, he still needs a family of his very own.

So, we have printed off "Sammy's" picture, placed it in a green glass jar on our kitchen island and dollar by dollar hope to off set his adoption cost for one lucky family.Each dollar is just a drop in the ocean. By the end of the year we hope to have saved enough in Sammy's little jar to place an small adoption grant towards his adoption fees.So for now, we have the most handsome little fellow greeting us each day.The kids know him by name and are excited about the opportunity ahead. I cannot think of a better reminder of how blessed we are to be given the opportunity to make a difference in someones life.What a powerful gift!

Way to powerful to ignore!

Sammy is currently listed with Adoptions Together. Here is their link :He is listed under boy Feb/08


http://www.adoptionstogether.org

I am not sure about the rules of listing his photo on my blog but I will find out what is allowed.

So head over to my comments section and lets hear what you resolve to do for the year 2010. Just maybe you will resolve to make the year 2010 about making a difference in someones life !

My Little Pill!

I have really dreaded this moment! I am so ready to move on in this process . With each step it brings us closer to our sweet girl! But I did not have good luck in this stage of the process in the last adoption! Back in '07 I was so careful to make sure everything was perfect ! I called on several occations and consulted with the USCIS officiers to make sure we did not miss a step! So , when we still had not received our reciept by mail by day 60 ,I set up an appointment. We waited for 3 hours to be called up to the counter only to be told that they threw out our application! We were told on the national hotline that you can send a personal check, so we did! Little did we know that our local office does not accept personal checks!

To make a long story short it all worked out and I had my new application , fingerprinting appt. and approval in hand in three short weeks! At the time I could not see the reason for this delay through all of the blurry ,tear stained contacts. But I now know that our sweet Ava was not ready for adoption yet!

So this time around I am going to say a little prayer for a safe arrival and quick processing for my little "pill"! So pardon me while I hold my breath ...I think I will breath again after I get that glorious little reciept in the mail! Can you believe my husband asked me if I was sweating at the Fed Ex place?


SAFE TRAVELS LITTLE PILL!!!!!!!

Christmas '09

Pic's from Christmas '08!

Pic's from Christmas '09!

We had a wonderful Christmas this year! What difference this past year has made for Ava. Last year she was not sure what was going on with any of the holiday events. This year she was dancing around and singing! She was such a ham and loved being the center of attention!

I found myself thinking of Peyton and wishing she was here. There was definitely someone missing this year. When I would feel a little sad ,I would just look at Ava and think how fast this year has passed and soon she will be home with her family.

Ava took everyone over to the computer and proudly showed off her sister's videos. By the way , she requests to look at Peyton's videos everyday. And if you could see the grin on her face ! Ava is totally in LOVE!

Look out Peyton because your big sister is going to smother you with kisses and hugs!!!!!!!

I will leave you with a couple of photos of Ava this year compared to last . My heart just smiles at the progress of this past year has brought!

Enemy #1!!!!

We have been running like crazy on the paper trail! Our home study is completed , dossier is almost done and next step the I800A! So today Ava and I took a break from all of the paper craziness and went to the mall to have our first official picture with Santa Claus! We filed in line with all the other kiddos and waited our turn. Well ,the little girl in front of us ,who was exactly Ava's age, started a mass hysteria that spread like a virus through the line. Ava was fine till she took one look at him and that was all she wrote! She did not care who he was or if he had his own toy factory ...she wanted no part of this !

Later on in the day she took one look at that picture and started to cry... again!

So, I will forever treasure this photo because this will be the last! I will not put her through that again!

And for those of you that were at the mall this morning that was NOT me doing an army crawl ,in a pair of high heels, to avoid being in the photo! What's a mama to do?!?! My sweet girl was in distress ! I am not above making a complete fool of myself for my kids. Funny thing is that Nick(15) was with us and was not impressed! Go figure!

But I have to say she still was so cute even though she did not smile!

Next step, Immigration...!

Updates!!!!!

What a wonderful day this will be! Nothing like getting up and finding an update and video of your new daughter !

I can not thank Angela and Kelly @ Ladybugs n love enough for these wonderful updates!!!!

We will treasure this forever!



And now I think I just might survive the wait!



Ava and Peyton are exactly one year and one day apart but little sister Peyton is exactly the same height and weight as Ava!



Sorry, big sister we might have to refer to you as the older sister!



I do not think anyone could wipe this grin off my face!:)

Our Little Red Thread

When we start out on our journey to our children we often look for a connection.Something that jumps out at us that says you are who I have been waiting for. Some parents say I just knew when I saw their face. Other say it was a birthday that they shared with a loved one. And for some it was just a feeling. Whether it was butterflies in their tummy or just plan love at first sight they knew.

We travelled to Russia in July '08 to meet Ava .We boarded a plane with no information other than a little girl on the other side of the ocean was waiting on us. When we arrived we were blessed with such a special treasure, a beautiful baby girl just one week shy of her first birthday. We spent an emotional yet wonderful week with our sweet girl . We squeezed one last visit in before departing on that Saturday. As we walked away, I prayed that God would keep her safe. It saddened us to leave her behind. I wondered if she thought that we had abandoned her like so many had before us. We left our little girl in that hospital knowing that she would be there for her first birthday the following week. We returned home exhausted yet anxious to get back to our baby.
That next week on Saturday, July 19th Ava turned one. We were sad knowing that it was just another day to everyone in that hospital. I breathed a sigh of relief on that Sunday that we had made it through that dreaded day and she would never have another birthday alone again. Little did we know on Sunday, July 20th another beautiful baby girl was born, our daughter Xia Ben Pei . That same week we began our wait for our court date. This was the worst part of the process. You give your heart away to your sweet child only to have to give her back and pray that she will be safe while you are gone. As I struggled with my sadness another mother a world away was struggling too. During that same week she held her baby girl for four days and on that fourth day made the decision that someone else could provide a better life for her. My struggles pale in comparison to hers. In the end ,I was blessed with my sweet Ava .In the end , she gave up one of her greatest treasures. Soon to be one of mine.

After we had submitted our LOI for Ben Pei we began looking at names. We had a list of names that we had selected for Ava. Each family member had their original top picks and majority of these had carried over for our ladybug. When Jacob was three and in mother's day out he had selected the new babies name after a little girl in his class. We were at the beginning of this process and were not sure if we would be going to Vietnam,Guatemala ,China or Russia.Either way her name was Peyton. I had always imagined little Peyton to have olive skin and beautiful dark hair.So imagine my surprise when we found out that Xia Ben Pei's nickname is Pei Pei(sounds like pay pay) . So when we originally began this process in 2007 ,God had already etched little Peyton in my heart even before she was born.

We chose Lily as her middle name after my dear ,sweet Maw Maw Lily. She was a wonderful grandmother and she could always make you laugh! She had the most beautiful dark hair just like Peyton. When Jake heard the name Lily he said "I love it Mom". He said it was perfect because in the Peyton's picture that we received there are Lilies in the background! Mind you he is only six years old! Pretty observant for a first grader!

I started this journey back in 2007 looking for my daughter, Peyton. So in the end, I ended up with my beautiful Peyton after all! Little did I know that I was going to be blessed with Ava first !!!! These little sister's already share such a connection to one another.

I must have been a really good girl to be blessed like this ! Or maybe it was my original career choice in elementary school to become a nun!

Now, I am a makeup artist ... but He loves me anyway!

I'm Special

I'm Special


On my way from Heaven,
God delayed my trip that day.
He said that I was special,
and then sent me on my way.
But not before he kissed me,
Right upon my ear
He left his blessed mark
to carry with me here.
He whispered in my ear right then,
that He loved me without doubt,
and then He closed my ear up tight,
so the whisper won't get out.
He told me both my legs were strong
and would help me stand up tall.
He told me both my arms would work
to catch me if I fall.
My eyes would catch my memories
to store within the pages of my mind,
My heart would fill with all the things I would love,
so many things, I would find.
He told me I could fall asleep
to my Daddy's bedtime tales,
and listen while my Mother sings
of seas and boats with sails.
One ear, He told me, could hear the sounds
that little birdies make.
The other ear was His gift to me,
a blessing for my sake.
For when I'm feeling sad, He said,
my other ear would hear,
His whispered words of eternal love,
left waiting for me there.
(Author Unknown)

I saw this posted on a group that I am a member of . I just love this and thought this was such a great way to begin this post. As many of you know we are adopting Peyton from China's special needs program.Peyton has a deformity of her right ear and nerve palsy on the right corner of her mouth. The palsy is due to the facial nerves involvement in and around the ear. You only see this when she smiles or cries. I have to say that she has one of the cutest little smiles that I have ever seen! We are unsure of the extent of hearing or lack of in that ear but we will find out more when we return home.

We have decided to be open about Peyton's special need for a variety of reasons. One is that Peyton's need is visible.When she is older she can have surgery to correct the ear malformation.Generally that surgery does not take place till she is somewhere between 6-8 years old. Another reason is the hope that other families that are considering a child with this particular need might see beyond this medical label and not miss out on one of the greatest blessings ever.

I have posted some links with some great information about Microtia and Hemifacial Microsomia.If you scroll down the right side of my blog you will find them.

We have been so blessed to have had several families come forward and share their personal experiences with this specific need.The experiences that they shared spoke volumes about how manageable this need is.Microtia was not on our original list of needs.But once again this is just an example of God's plan vs. our plan ... And his is always better!

If I can help anyone with any questions , please feel free to post your email address in the comments section!

Not The Way You Planned

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, "plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11

"God hears all our prayers, and we must trust that He will answer them in His own time. They may not always be the answers we want to hear, but they are always for our good, and teach us to trust in Jesus as we travel the pathways of our daily lives."



Not The Way You Planned

Once there were three trees on a hill in the woods.


They were discussing their hopes and dreams when the first tree said, 'Someday I hope to be a great treasure chest. I could be filled with gold, silver and precious gems. I could be decorated with an intricate carving and everyone would see the beauty.'


Then the second tree said, 'Someday I will be a mighty ship. I will take Kings and Queens across the waters and sail to the corners of the world. People will feel safe in me because of the strength of my hull.'

Finally the third tree said, 'I want to grow to be the tallest and straightest tree in the forest. People will see me on top of the hill, look up to my branches, and think of the heavens and God and how close to them I am reaching. I will be the greatest tree of all time and people will always remember me.'

After a few years of praying that their dreams would come true, a group of woodsmen came upon the trees. When one came to the first tree he said, 'This looks like a strong tree, I think I should be able to sell the wood to a carpenter, and he began cutting it down. The tree was happy, because he knew the carpenter would make him into a treasure chest.

At the second tree the woodsman said, 'This looks like a strong tree. I will be able to sell it to the shipyard.' The second tree was happy because he knew he was on his way to becoming a mighty ship.

When the woodsmen came upon the third tree, the tree was frightened because he knew that if they cut him down his dreams would not come true. One of the men said,'I don't need anything special from my tree, I'll take this one,' and he cut it down.

When the first tree arrived at the carpenters, he was made into a feed box for animals. He was then placed in a barn and filled with hay. This was not at all what he had prayed for.

The second tree was cut and made into a small fishing boat. His dreams of being a mighty ship and carrying Kings had come to an end.

The third tree was cut into large pieces, and left alone in the dark.

The years went by, and the trees forgot about their dreams.

Then one day, a man and woman came to the barn. She gave birth and they placed the baby in the hay in the feed box that was made from the first tree. The man wished that he could have made a crib for the baby, but this manger would have to do. The tree could feel the importance of this event and knew that it had held the greatest treasure of all time.

Years later, a group of men got in the fishing boat made from the second tree. One of them was tired and went to sleep. While they were out on the water, a great storm arose and the tree didn't think it was strong enough to keep the men safe. The men woke the sleeping man, and he stood and said 'Peace' and the storm stopped. At this time, the tree knew that it had carried the King of Kings in its boat.

Finally, someone came and got the third tree. It was carried through the streets as the people mocked the man who was carrying it. When they came to a stop, the man was nailed to the tree and raised in the air to die at the top of a hill. When Sunday came, the tree came to realize that it was strong enough to stand at the top of the hill and be as close to God as was possible, because Jesus had been crucified on it.

The moral of this story is that when things don't seem to be going your way, always know that God has a plan for you. If you place your trust in Him, God will give you great gifts.

Each of the trees got what they wanted, just not in the way they had imagined...

We don't always know what God's plans are for us. We just know that His Ways are not our ways, but His ways are always best.

Home

We are so excited about receiving our pre approval for our sweet little ladybug! We began Thanksgiving with an exciting email from Xiaoqing. At 1:26 a.m. (Yes, I said a.m.!)Xiaoqing sent us our PA for our sweet girl! X works so hard for her families and these sweet kids. She is a wonderful advocate for these children finding their forever families.We are really lucky to be working with her and BAAS!That afternoon we ordered her first care package through Lady bugs n love. Kelly and Angela are wonderful to work with! We are planning on sending a few more packages soon.

We are so fortunate that Ben Pei is living with a foster family in China. Ava was not so fortunate . She lived the first half of her life in a hospital and the other part in an orphanage.The day we picked her up she never looked back. We prepared for some mourning of the life that she knew but that was not the case with her. She graciously allowed herself to love and trust us over the course of the past year. What a wonderful gift that was and still continues to be each and every day.

I suspect Ben Pei's reaction will be a bit different.She is going to grieve for everything that she has lost.

She has a family.

This is the family she has had since she was a baby. They are who she loves and trusts. They are who she calls her mother and father.

In her little eyes ... she is home.

Sometimes I think it is so easy to get caught up in all our excitement and the planning that we loose sight of that little persons perspective.I am reminded of this as I watched Ava this Thanksgiving Day. She was beaming with a grin from ear to ear as she called out each family members name at the dinner table.This was her second Thanksgiving as a member of our family.She is a far cry from that scared and timid baby that joined us last year.Despite the fact that she did not grieve that former life, this has been one full year of attaching and adapting.And learning to love as only a family can.
We are hopeful that Pei's transition into our family will not be difficult for her and preparing for all the emotions that she will be experiencing. Reality is that this transformation does not happen overnight. I think with the adoptive child you always are working at promoting attachment ,building trust and addressing abandonment issues.
At the end of the day there is no greater reward than to have that child seek you out, crawl up into your arms and embrace you with such love that it just stops you dead in your tracks.Such a simple action speaks volumes to an adoptive parent.In that moment all of the hard work has been so worth it.

I look forward to the day when Ben Pei will wrap her little arms around me and let me know that she is now home ...forever.

We have our PA!!!!!!!!!

We are so excited to receive our PA for our sweet baby girl !!!!!!

Without further adieu ...here she is!

Xia Ben Pei

7 - 20 - 2008

Guangxi Province

Living WAY Beyond Yourself! Are you up for a Challenge?

I am doing a bible study with a great group of girl's (not ladies that sounds too old!) that live all over the country. Most of us have come together through our journeys of adoption and some are just friends . Most of us have never met face to face but we share one goal in completing Beth Moores "Living Beyond Yourself" bible study and are going to have fun in our fellowship with one another!

One of the fellow mamma's in the group, Mel, has been presented with somewhat of a challenge by her eleven year old daughter , Lydia. Lydia has fallen in love with a little girl on Reese's Rainbow named Darya. Darya lives in an orphanage in Eastern Europe. She spends her days housed in a crib . She is a beautiful baby girl that is deprived of some of the basic human needs.She spends her days sitting in a crib not touched or spoken to. I know we were all taught in school that there are three basic human needs: Food , Shelter and Water. As adoptive parents we know that there are actually more "basic needs" that we as human beings need. Some of us know this because our sweet kids were subject to just this kind of deprivation.

The challenge is that if Lydia can raise the $20,000 to cover the adoption fees, Darya will have a family and Lydia a new sister! Maybe $1.00,$5.00 or $10.00 does not seem like a lot but just think if everyone reading this donated something!We all have the power to change this child life!

Are you up for being part of this extra special challenge ?

If so, head over to my sidebar and visit their family blog.It is the button titled "Praying for God's healing for Hope" . Be ready to be inspired!

Also, visit Reese's Rainbow and take look at Darya.You can find the direct link in my lists of my favorite blogs!The website is set up to take donations towards a specific child's adoption. Be sure to specify Darya's name in the comments category.

After you see this sweet angel face then the challenge will be ...HOW CAN YOU NOT BE PART OF THIS!

Journey of Faith

I heard something this weekend at church that has been ringing in my ears since Sunday.

Journey's of faith have times of limited sight.

This is so true. Just think how many times in your life that you have been in the middle of something that you are unsure about . Maybe you are at a fork in the road and are deciding between the safe clear path or maybe you are looking at the other option. A path that requires you to relinquish control , close your eyes and trust that he will guide you where you are supposed to go.The second choice is what I imagine a true journey of faith is.In fact I know it is because it is what we did on our journey to Ava.Having enough faith that he will not steer you in the wrong direction but actually just where you are supposed to go.

I cannot think of a greater journey of Faith than adoption. You enter adoption with a limited scope of sight. In the end, I have found myself so deeply leaning on him and my faith more than any other time in my life.

Over the course of this process we have not once but twice thought that we had found our daughter only to find out that he had other plans.After each has found wonderful forever families you are left wondering ... what about us? We had pretty much decided that we probably would not hear anything for a least a few more weeks or even months . And I have to say that we were okay with that.

On Sunday evening out of the blue we recieved a call from our agency about a little girl.Not just any girl but the missing piece to our family.We were truly swept away!

We are so excited !!!!!

In a few weeks we will be able to make our official announcement but for now you will just have to trust me when I say she is so precious!

How blessed we are!!!!!

Mysterious Ways

How many times in your life have you heard how God works in mysterious ways? As a child I had heard that a million times not really ever grasping the true meaning behind those simple words.It was not till I was an adult that this statement was better understood. As Adoptive parents we know , adoption brings about many facets of uncertainty and quite a bit of "mystery" to your life. Well, today is just another one of those days that he has revealed that mystery of his actions.At the time something does not go according to plan you want to say "Why did that happen? " or " That was not my plan". But I am quickly reminded that it is not my plan after all and his plan is always better!
A few weeks ago we had fallen completely in love with the most precious little girl. We had really thought that this was to be our daughter. I had studied every detail about her file backwards and forwards. So last week, I am on my email and a post catches my eye. I recognize the medical detail/question from her file. So I risk looking like a complete crazy person and contact the sender.

What are the odds that this question is indeed about the same sweet girl?

Well, the odds were really good and indeed it was!After speaking on and off, I could not help but feel that this little girl fit in their lives like a missing puzzle piece.

I had to share that all of the prayers for this sweet little girl have been answered and she will know the love of a family after all!And this family is going to have the most amazing little girl!

So his ways do seem quite mysterious at times but I will continue to be amazed each and every time the meaning behind that mystery is revealed!

Happy Halloween!

The past few weeks have brought about a lot of change. On the adoption front,We are sad to say that the little girl that we thought would be our daughter will not be. Without going into too much detail, it was not meant to be. More than anything please pray for this little girl that she will receive a family to love her. No matter how terrible this is for us the thought that she might not ever have that chance is the worst part of any of this.We have cried many tears over this but in the end you have to consider all factors in this. I have been so emotionally led through this process. Being led by your heart somewhat clouds your decision making process. I cannot change this about myself . In fact I do not want to change this about myself. If asked I would say that this is one of my best and worst qualities all rolled into one! So we have assumed our new roles. My DH is a little less emotionally charged in this so he is to bring in an unbiased and logical opinion. But when they bring that little girl in and hand her to him his heart will be gone!

I will leave you with a few photos of our Halloween festivities and our little stinkerbell. This is Ava's 2nd Halloween with us and the transformation is incredible! Last year she was unsure of the commotion.She looked like a deer in the headlights. This year she praced around in that Tinkerbell costume, danced the monster mash and handled her sugar rush with the utmost grace! When all the kids would gather around the coffin in the front yard and try to determine if the guy in there was real or not she would announce that was her bubby! All of the kids had a really great time!
Next main event Thanksgiving...the year is going by so fast!