The Greatest Special Need of All

When you enter a special needs adoption you find yourself googling medical terms that you did not know existed .How many of you out there feel that you have missed your calling to attend medical school? And You definitely do not dare repeat the medical terms out loud for fear that you will hear a chuckle at your attempt to pronounce it correctly! And yes, I have heard a few giggles!

In these short few months I have learned more about the common and not so common medical diagnosis that label these children. Each child has their own medical file that names their particular special need . You see so many different special needs but they each have one common need.This particular need is a need that is not listed on their medical checklist and is not stated anywhere in their file.In fact you will not even find it in a medical dictionary. There is no greater need than the love of a family.

This common thread has no boundaries. There are approximately 147 million children around the globe that are considered orphans. That number is shocking. Each one of these kids come to the table with one common special need ...a family. We all have felt a need to "belong" at some point in our life. Whether it was a club, organization or just a group of peers.Do you remember how bad you felt when you were not excepted? Now, take that need to belong and make that need a family.Imagine your whole life never having someone to protect ,nurture and love you. That is a really hard thing to imagine but that is the reality for so many of those 147 million orphans .Sometimes we do not want to see those things that we feel we cannot change. It is easier for us to turn a blind eye. And often people say "Why would God let that happen?" but be careful maybe he will ask you the very same question.

We have been reviewing the file of a special little girl. We have done the research, hired a doctor and looked at all the possible scenarios at least a million times. But as I look at that sweet face ,I am once again reminded of her greatest special need the love that only a family can give .

This little girl is going to know the love that only a family can provide....particularly our family. I laid out the fleece .And I have prayed . We did not lock her file . I sat back and research her needs for a week.I then presented the info to my DH. If he looks over the medical info and has any doubts we will walk away. He agreed that she deserved a closer look.So we then requested additional info.

We still did not lock the file.

This time was spent researching, praying and dreaming. This whole time one lingering question "Could this be our daughter?".

We hired a doctor to review her file but I felt strongly about not locking her file. We had decided that there would be no greater sign than after putting our hearts out there and her still being available.Well ,not one single person has locked her file. I say that is not because her needs are too great or that she is not wanted but because she has been waiting for us and we have been looking for her. I have found that peace that I was waiting on. You know the peace that you get when you just place something in God's hands and let him carry you through it . He has replaced any questions and fears that we had with joy and excitement.

And I already feel blessed yet again!

I am leaving you with a photo of Ava holding and kissing her new sister's photo! And if you cannot tell she is a little excited too!

Looking for Signs

This past week has been the hardest week yet. During the course of our research phase we have seen files of several children. Each and every one of them so precious. But we were still at the very start of this process and still researching what special needs were right for our family. So each of these kids have gone on to be with the family that they were intended to have. We felt that we had completed our list of special needs and I have been told it is fairly open. We have only two needs that fell into the maybe category that we felt needed some more research. Two weeks ago we were sent a file of a little girl. I opened the file and across my screen came the most breathtaking photo of a little girl.The kind that makes your heart skip a beat. We then proceeded to look through her medical and her special need was one that we felt needed some more clarification.So I spent the next 48 hours scrambling to get as much info as I could. I have to say that those 48 hours was quite stressful waiting and hoping that the doctor is going to be able to call you back in that time frame.During this time I am praying that God is going to send me a sign. At first you are looking for a big sign and somewhere in those last few hours of that clock ticking you would take even the smallest one ! In the 47th hour we had not received all of the answers and felt that it would be a complete leap of faith to move forward. We had taken that leap of faith with Ava and decided that we would do the same with her. As I picked up the phone to call our agency to let her know that we had found our daughter and the phone rang. It was my pediatrician . I had prepared myself for his honesty as we have known him for 15 years and entrust him with the care of our most valuable gifts. He said that we need to be prepared for the unknowns that this condition comes with . After a long conversation with him we had our medical opinion and in a split second we were heading in a different direction. I took this as our sign ,called the agency and told them we could not move forward.

For the next few days I could not get this little girl of my mind.I questioned our decision. Was our doctor calling "the sign" I was looking for or was it our fear that lead us to our decision? I waited about 5 days and had to know if she had found her family.My agency called me back and let me know that she had found them . I felt that things were as they should be and I was truly happy for this sweet girl.

The phone rings two days later with some startling news...She was back on the list! DH and I decided that fear would not be our guide and we were moving forward! We submitted all of the necessary documents and were so excited! Later that day I asked DH to make me copies of all of the original medical documents for my personal file. As I was sorting through all of this there was one document that I had not seen before. As I read it that excitement was replaced with fear.

We spent the next few days with our hearts heavy and needing a direction. Finally my husband asked me "if you would have never fell in love with this little face and had only seen her medical file would you have any reservations about this particular need?" When he asked me that I knew the answer .

I have cried a million tears over his little girl and I have to believe that God has place her in my heart for a reason. I am helping to advocate for her finding her family.I believe that if God had chosen this child for us she would be ours. He is not going to let you miss out on your child ...it is way too big!

As PAP's of special needs children we need to do our research.You can never be too informed. We each have our list of needs that we feel comfortable with. I would never feel comfortable judging someone else on their list being too narrow or excluding a need that I feel within my comfort zone. Ask yourself can we provide for this child's particular need? How will this impact our other children? Set up the worst case medical scenario and be prepared because this could be a possibility. This is not only if this child is the right child for us but are we the right family for this child.

As I was typing the description of this little girl for all to read. I went back to my email to get the contact information for anyone who wanted to inquire about her file. In my emails was the sweetest words ever!This little girl was matched to a family that I have been corresponding with for the last couple of days!I am so over the top for this family!How blessed they are!

Just confirmation that it is just too big to miss!

Join "Operation Giggle"!

I know that many of you are aware of the great work that New Day Foster home does. They have just launched a project called "Operation Giggle". This extra special mission is to provide each of the 64 children living in their foster home a Christms morning to remember. All you have to do is go on to the operation giggle blog, select the child that you would like to sponsor, notify Sherri and purchase a gift. I am taking advantage of this life lesson and involving my kids. I cannot think of a greater opportunity to instill the joy of giving verse receiving.

But be forewarned these kiddos are so cute you might have to sponsor more than one!

Ava and I are sponsoring sweet Elizabeth! And the boys are going to select a child ,probably one of the darlng boys.


www.operationgiggle.blogspot.com
The direct link is on my side bar!

The Fork in the Road

We are fairly well versed in Russian adoption. We learned everything about what to expect and lived and breathed it for well over a year. We began the journey to Ava and assumed our role as the "rookies" . With Russia you have no choice you pick an accredited agency first, submit your dossier and then the MOE in Russia matches a child to you.Special Needs China is a bit different. The CCAA in China has a shared list of children with a wide variety of special needs . There are children added every month. Some agencies receive an individual list specifically for their agency. These are generally children that are a little harder to place due to age or their specific need.You can either select a waiting child first or choose an agency.

So we have assumed our "Rookie" ranking again and face a fork in the road. Should we search through those lists of sweet kiddos or do you choose an agency and let them led the way? Searching through those lists are not for the faint at heart. Face after face of sweet little kids that greatest special need is a family to love and advocate for them. Each and everyone that we have seen I have checked on their status to make sure that they have received the gift of a family. Well after a month of doing this I have come to realize that this is too much like me taking control and leading the way. On our journey to Ava I realized that relying on my faith was a far better plan.Traveling to met Ava with no photo or info before arriving at that hospital in Russia was a true journey of faith. Scary as that sounds, when they handed me that baby I had a sense of peace that is indescribable.We knew that she was our daughter.

We have researched many agencies and met some wonderful people along the way. But one really stood out. We have chosen Xiaoqing with Bay Area Adoption Service to be our guide. She works tirelessly at getting these children families. Her devotion to these kids was a sure sell for us!

So, we now sit back and wait ...patiently! Yes people I said patiently! I will continue to remind myself daily that this is not on my timing but his! I believe with all my heart that this child was in God's plan for us long ago. For me the journey of adoption is a journey of faith like no other.

A New Chapter

Our family is beginning a new chapter in our lives. As parents, so much of our lives evolve around our children as it should be. As each child has entered our lives a new chapter has begun . No matter how they have entered our lives , birth or adoption, each child holds an equal and special place in our hearts. With our first adoption, I looked at it as a blessing to have the opportunity to "rewrite" a little child's life. Little did I know that my little girl was going to be the author and rewrite our lives. Ava was an unlikely teacher camouflaged in the body of a scared one year old Russian orphan. Now at two years of age ,she has evolved out of her cocoon . I am in awe of her determination and how many obstacles she has faced in her short life. Our little "professor" rewrote my life song and our desire to be blessed yet again has grown.
This journey through adoption is one of the most spiritual journey's that I have ever taken. I have learned that God will pave the way and our one simple job is to follow . This one simple job to follow and not lead can be somewhat of a challenge at times! We feel that the road was being paved when we met Ava in Russia. Being the "rookies " in the adoption world we began researching adoption and ended up in the most unlikely place,Russia. When we traveled to met Ava we did not have any info prior to traveling. All our agency knew was that we were open ethnicity and requesting a girl as healthy as possible.We were told that the most healthy children in Russia are not of Russian ethnicity . Most Russian families that adopt seek out Russian children to achieve a "blended" family. So we are expecting a healthy little girl of one of the many beautifully diverse ethnicity's that make up Russia's society. Now this next part is where I know that God has a sense of humor!When we met our daughter she was not at all what we expected but what God had chosen . This tiny, pale,blond/blue eyed babe was one week short of her first birthday and weighted a whooping 12 lbs! When we received the medical info on Ava it was scary. She would have been considered special needs in China. We accepted her referral aware of all the risks and prayed for the best. Now fast forward to today ,we have a beautiful little soul that graces us each day. We believe that God paved this road for us to special needs China via an unlikely source,a sweet little Russian princess. I would never consider Ava to be special needs just a really special gift that we have been given.
If Ava was not enough God presented one more perspective that has reinforced how "special needs" is just a label. Over the course of the past year we have also been impacted by another unlikely source,our sweet nine year old neighbor. He was diagnosed with cancer and has since lost a portion of his leg to this terrible disease. He has been in the fight for his life and has won. When he comes over to play he is still the same little boy that we have always known. The loss of his leg makes him no different. He is the same person just doing things a little different.Just another reminder that we are all fearfully and wonderfully made! His courage and strength is amazing!Please pray for this courageous boy's continued good health!

We have been home with Ava for a little over a year now and are very excited to be on this journey to adopt again. International adoption can be a lengthy process so we are starting the process now and can not wait to see what God has planned for us!